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Hello everyone, back again to
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give your opinion in this life, maybe
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many of you often feel
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ordered to be used and
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give too much, whether it's
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time, energy, material, feel unappreciated
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and feel powerless if you are
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in that situation, this happens
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because we unconsciously
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to treat us like that, maybe
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because we ourselves do not have
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boundaries or Grace is a limit
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to indicate which things are
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expectable and which are not, what can be
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tolerated and which are not, and this limit
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applies to others and also to
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ourselves, in one of his books, Dr.
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Hendrik Laut once said that build
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from there. Like our houses, they are
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usually surrounded by a fence, after
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that there is an entrance, then in the house
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there are other rooms. One of them is
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our bedroom, there are people who
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can only be outside the fence, there are those who
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can enter but only by
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guests, then there are also people who we
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allow to enter our room, so that's how
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determining physical space, emotional space,
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mental space, and also spiritual space
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these boundaries also have different types and priority scales, some of which are
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emotional, there are physical ones, then
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our boundaries are also different for other people,
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there are significant ones, ADR for friends, to
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parents, there are boundaries that are
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very Rizieq, there are more flexible ones,
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there are big deals, there are also trivial ones,
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for me, one of the boundaries that
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other people have is that I don't
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want people to give my personal number to
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other people without my permission first,
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own boundaries, I have to sleep at
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least 7 hours every day, according to me,
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having boundaries is very important,
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setting bandwidth is not to control
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other people but to protect
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ourselves, well, this helps us to
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differentiate between our position and the
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position of others and differentiate between
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our desires and the desires of others
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So the life we live will
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be more authentic and in accordance with the
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setting boundaries is a form of
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self-love, we have the right to
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have equality, Space and
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protect the species, and as
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humans, we have autonomy over
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ourselves, like what I said
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before, building Deris is
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our protector, protecting ourselves from people
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who might want to take advantage of us,
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controlling us, manipulating us, and
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we shouldn't live like a
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freezer, other people's happiness is
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not our responsibility, then
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having boundaries also helps us
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to form healthy relationships
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with others because actually a
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healthy relationship is based on your
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respect the relationship at that time is about
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how we are not about what
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we do to that person Because
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this is an interesting thought for me free
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I often observe someone who
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likes to be friends or have a
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relationship with another person not because of
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how the person is not because of
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their personality nor because of the
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values they hold but often
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because that person is good to us well the
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problem with this word good sometimes
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we like to misunderstand we think that
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people are good because they are young
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Cup he does something for us - we are
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easy to take his time easy
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to take his energy this kind of mindset
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cannot be used to have a
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healthy relationship with others
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if we can set boundaries it will be
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easy for us to know who are the
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people who really respect us
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you remind me of Prince Suko
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because I happened to have
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watched Avatar Aang until the end
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free this tribe is really obsessed with
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wanting to respond to the gang wherever you
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go he will be chased by him and he does it
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because he has to get
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his owner back He wants to be accepted
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again by his father well the longer
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Shizuko is getting more frustrated because she
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country have to probe his father if
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he is Wifi nah indien he realized that
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he restore Windows others have to make
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limits Iwan kebo HP sendiri Kitchen is
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back against Water Adventure he chooses his
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own destiny even though it's just a cartoon
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But in my opinion the blue is very important
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to hold we are responsible
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for ourselves our existence is
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others And we have the right to live
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independently what does it mean not
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depending on the wishes of others
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on the feelings of others moods of others
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or the thoughts of others even though
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having limits and principles is the
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most important thing this is very difficult to
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do often we don't want to
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look difficult look complicated
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look stiff because maybe we are afraid that
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people will be disappointed with us and
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even leave us so all this time
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we have to compromise and
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adjust until we have to sacrifice
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our server and not respect
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ourselves then we also have
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concerns that if we have limits
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other people will be confronted and not
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everyone likes consultation so to
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avoid that we finally
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compromise again there are also
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people who don't even know
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that the concept of building from here access could
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be because all this time he was not
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taught by his parents or
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those closest to him it could also be
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because going up nagging from and prefetch
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that they have always been in bayt at
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finally formed a mindset of self
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brotherhood in life and I should
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have a fence like that from syaithon enough to
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lead everybody in his problems Not
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all the people we allow to enter are good
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people who are truly good
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and sincere there are also people who are camping
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thieves many of us also
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misunderstand this about boundaries we
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think that having boundaries is a
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sign that we are selfish we only care
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about our well-being and we want to
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control others to behave
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according to our standards It's not true
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if we want to respect others
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we must first learn to
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inspect ourselves and respect
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allowing them to process other than
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and always IAIN whatever they ask
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Well now the most important point
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How can we know the boundaries What
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should we do first we
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still find out what values
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we hold this is why self-wernas
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is very important we must continue to
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what things are essential for us what
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we like and what we don't then
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Annisa it all Why do we consider
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a file that is important why are we
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uncomfortable when faced The same
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thing continuously How
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should we challenge ourselves with
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do not dismiss our feelings
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these boundaries find the balance because building
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from here is also very related to the
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situation and conditions and also the people we are
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facing and always remember
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that we have the right to have servers
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self-respect and healthy wealthy what
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apply these boundaries if we
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just make them but the year the symptoms are the
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same is a lie well when the bonus is
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being tested We also have to
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go through that situation approximately
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this is crucial whether we should
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directly communicate to
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this person or not then when
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communicating it we have to
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stress parent and be as honest as possible must be
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clear firm straightforward and of course
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must be polite of course we will
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feel uncomfortable or maybe afraid
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But this all needs a process
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the more often we are candidates Jing
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boundaries we have made this will be
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easier for us to communicate it well well well for
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this person Whether our friend or
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our head or whoever to Trigger or not
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accept we set boundaries against
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their behavior we do not need to feel
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Sorry or apologize because it comes back
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to the person's part is not
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our responsibility and the person's offense also
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not our responsibility Wardah North
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fork webcam this is our linear safeway
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Then if that person is still offended
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it's not your problem And one
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last thing that is also important is that we
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have to look for a support system, namely
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us to get this video out and practice
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building from here people who
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really care about us more than what
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we want to do what they want
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thank you all for watching this
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opinion video this time if you have
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Shots about this theme you can
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really Arok comment in the comment section
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below and don't forget to like
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Mbak continues to subscribe to my channel
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if you subscribe continue to watch
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my other videos maybe
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that's all stay healthy stay happy and see
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you in the next video bye