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Blind Dating Girls With His Mother

52:15EnglishTranscribed Jul 20, 2026
0:00

Would you trust your mom to choose your

0:02

perfect match on a blind date? Today,

0:05

our Bachelor Joe will have his entire

0:07

family [music] interrogate these seven

0:09

hot girls and eliminate them one by one

0:13

until they find his perfect match.

0:15

>> You put me on.

0:16

>> You too. [laughter]

0:19

>> Oh, are you are you an anime?

0:21

>> This is the group chat.

0:24

Welcome to the group chat. Today we got

0:27

Joe the amazing. [cheering]

0:30

[applause]

0:31

>> All right. Today on Joe's group chat,

0:33

we've got [music] Tracy.

0:34

>> So, I'm [applause] Tracy, also known as

0:36

Big Mama Zerk, and I'm here to make sure

0:38

that we find the perfect girl for Joe.

0:41

And that is [music] a very tall order.

0:45

>> Let's get up for McCain.

0:47

[cheering]

0:48

>> All right. What's going on, guys?

0:49

[music] My name is McCain or Berserk,

0:51

and I am basically Joe's brother here,

0:53

and I know exactly [music] what this guy

0:55

wants. Joe likes a woman that has a

0:57

little bit of autism, but it, you know,

0:59

and and it she's like very quirky and

1:01

she's funny and she can [music] support

1:03

him and love him and, you know, and

1:05

that's what I'm looking for today, bro.

1:06

>> Okay, let's give it up to uh the last

1:08

person in the group chat, Justin. Let's

1:10

get up for him.

1:11

>> Let's go, Justin. Ready? Let's go.

1:13

>> What's up? It's uh Justin [music] Dubs

1:14

and uh you know, today we're finding

1:16

Joe's perfect match here. Probably

1:18

someone shorter than him, which is going

1:19

to be hard to find.

1:20

>> All right, man. You're kicked out of the

1:22

group chat.

1:22

>> Is he the short guy in your group?

1:24

>> Yeah,

1:24

>> dude. Dude, I'm the short guy in my

1:25

group. Let's [ __ ] go, dude.

1:27

>> I'm 5'11, by the way.

1:28

>> No, he's not. He's 5'9. That much.

1:29

>> Tracy, verify.

1:30

>> 5'11.

1:31

>> Yeah, we'll fight him a short queen,

1:32

hopefully. Are you nervous?

1:34

>> I'm very nervous.

1:35

>> How do you talk to women?

1:36

>> I don't talk to women.

1:37

>> Do you ever go up to them?

1:39

>> No. [laughter]

1:40

>> Do you ever I don't know. DM them.

1:42

>> No.

1:43

>> This is a virgin dating [music] show,

1:44

right?

1:44

>> I heard you had a hot sister.

1:46

>> You'd be right.

1:47

>> She looks just like him. [laughter]

1:50

>> You would be right. What does that have

1:52

to do with me finding love today? Like,

1:54

why are we talking about this? Like,

1:55

>> she was supposed to be on my dating

1:56

show, right?

1:57

>> Yeah, she was.

1:58

>> Damn, dude. That would have been true

1:59

love.

2:00

>> 100,000 likes off Fly Out. Joe's sister.

2:02

[laughter]

2:08

>> All right. Well, we're super excited to

2:09

help Joe find love. Um, you guys ready

2:11

to meet these ladies?

2:12

>> No, you're not ready.

2:13

>> No, I'm not ready, but we're going to do

2:14

it. I'm very scared.

2:15

>> Do you have a safe [laughter] word?

2:16

>> Burrito. Let's bring out the girls.

2:21

>> So, round one is going to be based on

2:23

looks and vibes. The girls are going to

2:25

be coming out one by one. They cannot

2:28

talk. We're then going to rank them on

2:29

the whiteboards and at the end based off

2:32

their scores, we're going to eliminate

2:34

somebody. You guys ready for this?

2:35

>> So, ready?

2:36

>> Yeah,

2:37

>> I'm not ready.

2:37

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get back to this amazing video. Give it

4:20

up for contestant number one.

4:23

[applause and cheering]

4:24

>> Hey.

4:27

>> Oh, she's cute. Oh,

4:29

>> we're taking a selfie.

4:30

>> Oh, she's a selfie taker.

4:31

>> She's taking her with us. Nope, not in

4:33

that.

4:33

>> Hey, no consent. Okay. [laughter]

4:36

>> She's got that old Hollywood vibe. What

4:38

do you guys think she [music] is?

4:39

>> Capricorn.

4:40

>> A girl.

4:40

>> A model. Oh, okay.

4:43

>> What kind of like a runaway model?

4:45

Clothes model.

4:46

Oh, you're porn. Porn porn.

4:50

>> Swimsuit model.

4:52

>> Swimsuit. You You in Vogue?

4:54

>> Oh, Victoria.

4:55

>> You ain't a model if you ain't been in

4:57

Vogue, sweetheart.

4:58

>> OH. OH. OH. WHOA.

5:00

>> WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WAIT. NO. NO. I know

5:01

the name. I know the name. It's

5:03

>> model. What is that?

5:04

>> A bra model.

5:05

>> Oh, wait. No. Money. Money. Money in the

5:07

breast. That's stripper. Stripper. Yeah.

5:10

[laughter] A

5:12

>> lingerie. Lingerie model. Lingerie

5:14

model.

5:14

>> Do you mind if we get some proof of

5:15

this?

5:18

>> Is that your camera? Do you have any

5:19

pics on there?

5:21

>> You know this is my date, right?

5:22

[laughter]

5:24

>> I forgot.

5:24

>> You just had your date.

5:25

>> I forgot.

5:26

>> This is my date. How tall are you

5:28

without the boots?

5:30

>> 56. What do you think about a guy that's

5:32

like 5'9?

5:34

>> Good.

5:35

>> Okay, let's get a height check.

5:36

>> Height check.

5:37

>> Oh, yeah.

5:37

>> Same height, but the boots on. Yeah, the

5:39

boot. Your boots out one inch. Oh,

5:40

>> he's got he's got lifts in his shoes.

5:42

>> I do not have lifts in my shoes.

5:44

>> How would you guys pose since you're a

5:45

model? How would you pose with your

5:46

future boyfriend?

5:49

>> Oh,

5:50

>> this is the closest Joe's ever.

5:52

>> Oh, dude.

5:53

>> That's Yeah,

5:54

>> dude. Joe,

5:55

>> I'm liking that.

5:57

>> Joe's Joe's pants just cut so tight.

5:59

>> Joe, are you good?

5:59

>> Yeah, I'm Can we get a standup check?

6:01

>> I'm I'm half paralyzed. I'm paralyzed in

6:03

the waist down.

6:03

>> What are you covering? Huh? Oh, no. Oh,

6:05

god. Okay. Do

6:06

>> Do [laughter] you Do you think he's

6:07

cute?

6:09

What do you think uh is the cutest

6:10

[music] thing about this guy?

6:11

>> Smile.

6:12

>> His smile.

6:13

>> Smile.

6:13

>> And his eyes.

6:14

>> Thank you. What is your biggest red flag

6:17

without talking?

6:20

>> You're picky.

6:21

>> Nitpicky.

6:22

>> Wa [ __ ]

6:22

>> Okay.

6:25

>> You like height. You like height.

6:26

>> You have high standards.

6:27

>> High standards. I think that's a green

6:29

flag.

6:29

>> Now, we're going to rank uh contestant

6:31

number one based off her vibe for Joe.

6:35

On the count of three. Three, two, one.

6:41

>> Oh, okay.

6:42

>> Personally, it's hard for me to give a

6:43

10 like without talking and [music]

6:44

everything like that, but off of the

6:46

vibes alone, like very put together,

6:48

very pretty. So far, from what [music] I

6:50

know, I feel like you're a great fit for

6:51

Joe.

6:51

>> I rated you a seven because I still have

6:54

to get to [music] know you to see if

6:55

you're a perfect match for me. I don't

6:57

know if like I just need to get to know

6:59

you more on what what

7:01

>> we're talking about vibe. We're just

7:02

talking about vibe right now. You're

7:04

just rating your vibe.

7:05

>> Oh [ __ ] Hold on. Give me one second.

7:07

>> Yeah, you you [ __ ] idiot.

7:08

>> Nine 100%.

7:10

>> Okay. All right, mom.

7:12

>> He meant to write this, but he's not

7:13

gotten that far with his numbers. Look

7:16

at her. She's just very [music] classy

7:17

looking and she's so beautiful and she

7:19

was very good at talking with her hands.

7:20

I don't know. I just like her a lot. I

7:22

think I could handle hang out with her

7:23

and I haven't even talked to her yet.

7:24

>> All right, let's give it up for

7:25

contestant number one.

7:30

>> All right, let's give it up for

7:31

contestant number [cheering] two.

7:34

Oh, I'm scared.

7:36

>> Wait, this is scary.

7:37

>> Oh, wait.

7:38

>> You can't talk, dude.

7:39

>> Oh, [ __ ]

7:40

>> Go minion mode.

7:41

>> I'm a gapper. Wait, [laughter]

7:44

>> zip it up.

7:45

>> Well, what do you guys think about that?

7:46

Someone's uh take direction. Well,

7:48

>> to the chopping block. No, I'm kidding.

7:49

>> No score.

7:50

>> Um,

7:50

>> okay. So, we uh You like the shirt?

7:52

>> I love the shirt.

7:53

>> They didn't have your size.

7:54

>> You stole my shirt. [laughter]

7:59

>> Can you hit like a little jig? Like a

8:01

little

8:01

>> Oh, okay.

8:04

Okay. Damn. Okay. Joe, do you dance?

8:07

>> No. Absolutely not.

8:08

>> It looked like she was rubbing her

8:09

penis.

8:10

>> She's grabbing her penis. Yeah, that's

8:12

what she was doing.

8:14

>> She's cute. She looks fun. A lot of fun.

8:16

>> I got to be honest, she's a little

8:17

dirty.

8:19

>> How far was the walk here? [laughter]

8:22

>> Where did you put your shopping cart?

8:26

>> Is your homeless encampment nearby?

8:28

[laughter] Well, at least she's going to

8:29

be cheap.

8:29

>> I will say Joe has dirty ass shoes, too,

8:32

though. Yeah,

8:32

>> that's true.

8:34

Do you always dress like this or do you

8:35

dress like

8:38

>> Oh, you like to dress sexy?

8:39

>> Well, you thought today going on a date.

8:42

Let's bum it.

8:43

>> I kind of like the funny.

8:45

>> Yeah, that definitely earns points for

8:46

Big Joe over here. Big

8:49

>> Do you have any tattoos?

8:52

>> Is that all of them right there?

8:53

>> What's up with these kids just getting

8:54

random tattoos all over their body?

8:55

>> It's like fun. It's just like a little

8:56

sticker. Oh [ __ ] she's got a middle

8:58

finger one. That's what she That's for

8:59

you, Mom.

8:59

>> What does that flip me off?

9:00

>> Yeah, she flipped me off.

9:01

>> She just flipped me off. I do not

9:02

appreciate that.

9:04

>> Oh, [ __ ] you, too. [laughter]

9:06

>> Do you ever wake up drunk and have a

9:08

tattoo that you didn't know about?

9:10

>> Yep. There it is.

9:12

>> That's the one.

9:13

>> Hold on. Let me see it. It says rock on

9:14

and it's like this.

9:16

>> The drunk wakeup one. Was that from one

9:18

of your homies that knows just like got

9:20

like a tattoo pen?

9:21

>> Yeah.

9:22

>> Was this a male?

9:24

Have

9:24

>> you spoken to a guy before?

9:26

>> How many relationships?

9:28

>> Zero. How many guy friends do you have?

9:32

Lots.

9:32

>> Lots. Lots.

9:33

>> How many situationships are we talking

9:35

about?

9:36

>> Three. Oh, she went from two.

9:38

>> Three situationships. Two to three. Two

9:40

to three.

9:41

>> If you say two to three, that means like

9:42

five to seven. That's like asking a girl

9:44

like what's your body count? They say

9:45

10, you know, it's like 20.

9:46

>> You got to multiply by three. That's

9:48

what What's his name say? JCole.

9:49

>> All right, guys. I think we got enough.

9:51

Let's give this girl a vibe check.

9:55

>> 3 2 1

9:59

>> Wow, we're pretty steady. It's pretty

10:01

spot on. I love your vibe. Your vibe is

10:03

great. I actually love the baggie fit,

10:05

too. And it like you seem fun and you

10:07

can take the clothes out,

10:09

>> but the uh

10:10

>> I don't know. I'm not going to lie. The

10:11

the the a lot of like guy friends kind

10:14

of just dropped it.

10:15

>> Yep. I rated her a six. She got the six

10:18

because she [music] is obviously really

10:19

funny. Yeah.

10:19

>> Um but the thing is is I didn't like the

10:23

guy answer. And I I [music] just I know

10:25

a lot of girls that have a lot of guy

10:26

friends and I know

10:28

>> like what he say [ __ ] me for. I I don't

10:30

know. I guess I'm assuming which is bad.

10:32

So, you know, you'll earn more points

10:33

later on, maybe.

10:34

>> Um, I gave a 6.5 and I don't really care

10:37

about the guy answering me. You can have

10:38

as many friends as you want, but I just

10:40

know Joe and I know that you're probably

10:42

a little too much for him. He'd be

10:43

overwhelmed with all the like it's just

10:45

too much for his He's not that small.

10:47

Why Why is she doing this?

10:49

>> Yeah. No, she just can assume like his

10:51

size. So, if you had to assume his size

10:54

>> Oh [ __ ]

10:57

But all right, let's get up for

10:58

contestant number two.

11:01

>> Fortnite dance. Fortnite dance.

11:03

>> Yeah, Fortnite dance out of here.

11:04

Fortnite dance.

11:04

>> All right, let's get up for contestant

11:06

number three.

11:08

[cheering]

11:09

>> Let's go.

11:10

>> I love the fit. Uh, I like the skirts

11:12

and the and the boot.

11:14

>> The skirts. How many does she have on?

11:15

>> She has one skirt on. [laughter]

11:16

>> He has X-ray vision.

11:17

>> It was a miscalculation.

11:19

>> What do you do?

11:21

>> Taxes.

11:21

>> You write checks.

11:24

>> Oh, karaoke.

11:25

>> Oh, you're a singer. singer and

11:26

songwriter.

11:27

>> You write in Okay.

11:28

>> Oh, that's cool. Okay.

11:29

>> What do you write about?

11:31

>> Love songs.

11:33

>> Songs. Oh, holy [ __ ] That's huge. So,

11:36

do you look to like try to get in

11:37

relationships with guys and then break

11:38

up with them for for more [music] like

11:39

exterior like

11:40

>> Oh, do you Taylor Swift

11:41

>> songs? Yeah.

11:42

>> Yeah.

11:43

>> David, I'm scared. I'm scared.

11:45

>> How many relationships have you [music]

11:46

been in? It's more than one. You're

11:47

cooked. Say it.

11:49

>> Yeah.

11:49

>> Oh, [ __ ]

11:50

>> Did you break their hearts?

11:53

>> What?

11:53

>> One.

11:53

>> What are the other ones? Did you cheat

11:55

or break your heart? Cheat. [music]

11:56

Yeah.

11:56

>> Is that where the songwriting started?

11:59

>> Start with the last one.

12:00

>> Started before.

12:00

>> How many did that relationship give you?

12:03

>> How many songs?

12:03

>> How many did it give you?

12:04

>> Oh, so you only made two songs out of

12:06

the your relationships.

12:07

>> Without talking, what's your red flag?

12:09

>> Sure. It's heartbre.

12:12

>> Oh, how many?

12:14

>> Yeah, mine's not that big. [laughter]

12:20

>> Self-sabotage.

12:22

I thought she meant like she beats that

12:23

dick or something.

12:24

>> Yeah, that's what I was like. I was

12:25

like, "Holy shit." I was like, "She

12:26

builds she builds him up and then she

12:28

knocks his ass down."

12:29

>> I thought she was just really into cup

12:30

stacking or something.

12:32

>> You guys ready to vibe check her?

12:34

>> Yeah.

12:34

>> Ready to vibe check her.

12:36

>> Mom.

12:36

>> Yeah.

12:37

>> You guys ready? 3 [music] 2 1.

12:40

>> That's not bad. It's just a vibe check.

12:42

>> Well, I gave you a four cuz you're

12:44

you're amazing. Like so cute. So much

12:46

fun. I love you and I'm really hope you

12:48

do well with your music. But I just

12:50

think Joe would destroy your career cuz

12:52

he'll never break your heart.

12:55

>> [ __ ] bars.

12:57

>> Holy [ __ ] [cheering]

13:00

>> I ripped a five because uh Heartbreak

13:02

songs. I don't think he listens to

13:03

Heartbreak songs at all. So it might be

13:05

a whole different vibe of like person.

13:07

You know what I mean? So uh I gave you a

13:09

four. I I thought when you first came

13:10

out here the outfit was great. But I

13:12

just think that kind of piggybacking off

13:14

McCain is that I didn't feel like you

13:16

guys had a lot in common.

13:17

>> All right. Um, let's give it up for

13:19

contestant number three.

13:23

>> I'm not I'm not trying to get put in a

13:24

breakup song.

13:25

>> Wouldn't you think it's cool if they're

13:26

talking about you like you broke my

13:28

heart? You were the best I've ever had.

13:32

>> I would just rather that doesn't happen.

13:33

>> Let's get up to the next contestant.

13:35

Contestant number four.

13:38

[cheering]

13:42

>> Oh, no way.

13:46

>> Nice. You know how to walk the dog?

13:49

>> DAMN.

13:50

>> YO, THAT WAS NOT BAD.

13:54

>> The dog died.

13:55

>> Yeah. Well, Joe is actually into being

13:56

leashed up.

13:57

>> No, I'm not.

13:58

>> Yep. No, I'm not.

13:59

>> He also likes those handcuffs where you

14:01

put them on the ankles and the he has

14:03

him like he's like this

14:05

>> and then he gets called like and you put

14:07

an apple in his mouth.

14:08

>> He loves being called.

14:08

>> How are you guys playing defense on me

14:10

in a dating show?

14:11

>> Oh, yeah. Sorry. Sorry about that.

14:12

>> Oh, you want to be

14:13

>> You want to be on a leash?

14:14

>> Oh, yeah. Oh.

14:16

>> Oh, she's averse.

14:17

>> What is happening, bro? There's like too

14:18

many plot twists going on.

14:19

>> Are you done with that?

14:20

>> No.

14:21

>> You think he's cute?

14:22

>> She was instant with it. That was

14:24

awesome. [music]

14:24

>> I like your

14:25

>> Everybody else had a think of it.

14:26

>> Really pretty.

14:26

>> What do you do?

14:31

>> You make at McDonald's.

14:34

>> Oh, Starbucks.

14:36

>> Oh, nice. Do you have a Starbucks order,

14:38

Joe?

14:38

>> No, I've never been to Starbucks.

14:39

>> Do you drink a lot of Starbucks?

14:42

>> No. That's good.

14:43

>> You drink coffee?

14:44

>> Yeah. Drug dealers don't do their own

14:46

drugs.

14:46

>> What's your biggest red flag?

14:49

>> You don't like driving?

14:50

>> You can't drive.

14:51

>> Okay. Joe doesn't drive either.

14:54

>> She's like, "What?

14:55

>> I ride a bicycle." So, you're not good

14:57

at driving?

14:57

>> Oh, you don't drive at all?

14:59

>> No license? Wait, hold on. How old are

15:01

you,

15:02

>> dog? Come on, dog. Dog.

15:04

>> Wait, why don't you have a driver's

15:06

license? You just don't like driving.

15:09

>> Oh, you have road rage. You have road

15:10

rage.

15:11

>> Suicide bomber. She said she would

15:12

crash.

15:13

>> Have you crashed?

15:14

Oh, wait. You're scared of driving

15:17

because of crashing?

15:19

>> Why?

15:19

>> Because you're a woman. [screaming]

15:21

>> You said it. I didn't have to say it.

15:22

>> Oh, okay. Did you drive without a

15:24

license and then you got into a car

15:25

accident and thought, "Okay, never doing

15:27

this again."

15:27

>> How old were you?

15:29

>> 12, 21.

15:32

>> 21.

15:33

>> All right, guys. You guys ready to um

15:35

vibe check contestant number four?

15:37

>> Yeah, very much so. Three, two, one.

15:42

>> Hey, I give you an A cuz I think you're

15:44

great, but you guys both don't have

15:46

cars.

15:46

>> Yeah, I'm going to have to go on all the

15:48

dates with them because I got to drive.

15:49

>> Mom, what do you give a five?

15:50

>> They're just not They have no way to get

15:52

together and I'm not driving.

15:53

>> McCain 7.4. That's good.

15:55

>> She's wonderful. I just think that

15:57

>> Yeah, you by the way are darling.

15:58

>> Yeah, you're awesome. Genuinely, you're

16:00

[ __ ] awesome.

16:01

>> And the yo-yo is the [ __ ]

16:02

>> Yeah, that was awesome.

16:03

>> Yeah.

16:03

>> Yo,

16:04

>> I think you guys have different vibes

16:06

and so that's why I gave you the 7.4.

16:07

That's good. That's a good score.

16:08

>> Yeah, I gave a seven just cuz I mean

16:10

honestly the yo-yo was dope. I used to

16:12

yo-yo when I was a kid, so I was just

16:13

won me over kind of in the beginning and

16:15

then I don't know like the vibe between

16:17

[clears throat] you both. I'm not sure

16:18

about.

16:19

>> Let's give it up for contestant number

16:20

four. [applause]

16:22

>> Well, let's give it up for contestant

16:24

number five. [cheering]

16:27

>> There he is.

16:28

>> I like your top.

16:30

>> You got [music] great outfit. Great

16:31

style. Like actually insanely good

16:33

style.

16:33

>> My boys just learned how to roller skate

16:35

recently.

16:35

>> Yeah, I just learned how. He knows how.

16:37

Oh yeah, he was really good cuz he's

16:38

from Canada and he played hockey.

16:41

>> You guys could skate together.

16:42

>> You have a green card. Can you get him

16:44

like a green [music] card?

16:45

>> Maybe. Just depends.

16:47

>> Do you think he's cute?

16:48

>> Oh, I wear those roller skates. Those

16:51

are so cute. Where'd you get those?

16:52

>> Can you do a cool spin for us?

16:53

>> Yeah.

16:56

>> Oh [ __ ]

16:58

>> Did David just ask for a 360?

17:03

>> Clip that.

17:03

>> Where's his mic? Clip that. [laughter]

17:05

Clip that. Get a little spin.

17:07

>> There's a good way of saying that, man.

17:09

You ever been with a white guy?

17:11

>> Oh, they're little.

17:12

>> They're small. I know. I know.

17:13

[laughter]

17:14

>> This is This is what I'm saying. This is

17:16

the

17:16

>> I just am curious cuz, you know, I don't

17:18

know if I'm satisfied.

17:19

>> I feel you.

17:20

>> Who have you been with? Mexican. Yes.

17:22

No.

17:23

>> All of them.

17:24

>> All of them.

17:24

>> You've been with everybody. Even W guy.

17:27

>> And And what's your favorite cup of tea?

17:28

>> Oh, she like the variety pack.

17:32

>> Oh. Oh, okay. Oh, she doesn't care what

17:35

you look like. She cares about how you

17:36

are on the inside. [screaming]

17:40

>> For the record, I'm black on the inside.

17:43

>> What's your red flag?

17:45

>> Oh, you like to play Spider-Man

17:47

>> defense.

17:48

>> Oh, you're defensive.

17:49

>> Oh, you know what? He's really

17:50

offensive, so that can work.

17:52

>> Like ying and ying and yang.

17:55

>> Like ying and yang,

17:56

>> literally. All right, guys. Let's do the

17:58

vibe check for Joe.

18:02

>> That's actually really [music] cool.

18:03

Three, two, one.

18:06

>> That's insane. Those are good scores.

18:08

>> Whoa.

18:09

>> Wow. N.

18:10

>> Nine all around. That's good.

18:12

>> Why' you guys give her a nine?

18:13

>> Dude, her outfit is dope.

18:14

>> Yeah. And she came out roller skating,

18:16

dude.

18:16

>> I do like the roller skating.

18:18

>> She [music] seems like she has a really

18:19

good personality. Let's give it up to

18:20

contestant number five.

18:24

>> I liked her. She was cute.

18:26

>> She's awesome.

18:26

>> Give up contestant number six.

18:28

[cheering]

18:31

>> What is that? Wo.

18:32

>> Are you going to do a caricature of Joe?

18:34

>> You want to draw?

18:35

>> All right, let's all try to draw Joe.

18:37

See who has the [music] best one.

18:38

>> I'm so down.

18:40

>> Okay, Tracy won. I don't even need to

18:42

go. What the [ __ ] is that?

18:43

>> While she's doing hers, Tracy, why don't

18:45

you show the camera your impression of

18:48

that?

18:48

>> She won. You're a joke,

18:51

>> bro. That looks nothing like me. That is

18:54

so funny.

18:56

>> Oh, wait. She's ready.

18:57

>> She's already done.

19:01

What the [laughter] [ __ ]

19:02

>> What?

19:03

>> That is talent. Let's give it up for

19:04

that guys. [applause]

19:08

>> She has a new drawing. She has a new

19:09

drawing. New drawing. New drawing.

19:11

>> Wow.

19:12

>> Oh, that's so cute.

19:13

>> My future boyfriend.

19:15

>> Oh, I love it.

19:16

>> I actually think that's really cool.

19:17

>> Mom, what do you think about the fit?

19:18

>> It It's cute.

19:21

>> Oh, she said we're matching.

19:23

>> Oh, yeah. Cuz we're both in denim.

19:25

>> She looks like one of those little

19:26

dolls. those little uh like a anime kind

19:29

of doll.

19:29

>> Oh, I wonder if I would say that.

19:32

>> What is this emoji again?

19:34

>> Uh

19:34

>> oh. Sex.

19:35

>> It's like a simp.

19:35

>> Docking. What is docking? Do you know

19:37

what that is?

19:40

>> Oh, okay.

19:42

>> Yeah. Justin, why don't you explain what

19:43

docking is?

19:44

>> Okay. It's when uh one man and another

19:47

man,

19:48

>> you know, join up here. Join up in the

19:50

member uh you know,

19:50

>> when they're uncircumcised, so their

19:52

fores kind of overlap. Dock.

19:55

>> What do you think about docking?

19:56

>> Okay, let's move on from the docking.

19:58

>> Okay. Do you think uh Joe's cute? Is he

20:00

your type? Have you ever dated a white

20:01

guy?

20:03

>> What's your biggest red flag?

20:07

>> You're too clingy.

20:08

>> Oh [ __ ] Joe, are you good? Oh, has this

20:11

the closest a girl's been to right?

20:14

>> That's love. Pass me your right real

20:16

quick. All right, bet.

20:19

>> Oh, dude. Dude, come on. Is it stalking

20:22

or is it just being clingy?

20:24

>> Both.

20:25

>> The life 360 thing. Do you put that on

20:27

their phone or do you just do like a

20:29

find my iPhone

20:30

>> or just air tag their [ __ ]

20:32

>> Protected your [ __ ] What

20:34

>> that one?

20:34

>> Okay. All right, guys. Let's do the vibe

20:36

check. [laughter]

20:37

Really funny. We're super talented. What

20:40

do we think?

20:41

>> Oh, wa.

20:42

>> She's begging. Plus two points.

20:43

>> She wants to say, guys.

20:44

>> Yeah, she does.

20:45

>> Holy [ __ ]

20:46

>> Three, two, one.

20:50

We did it the same. Yep.

20:51

>> Oh, that's funny.

20:52

>> That's not bad, though. That's not bad.

20:53

>> That's pretty good. I know you're

20:55

clingy, but I think you might need that

20:57

because you're such a hard worker. You

20:59

need someone to be [music] on you.

21:00

>> Yeah,

21:00

>> cuz you're you're thinking about

21:01

something else. You're not thinking

21:02

about the relationship. She's going to

21:03

be thinking about the relationship. You

21:04

get what I'm saying?

21:05

>> You're right. But I'm still running 6.5.

21:07

>> I just don't think you can put two needy

21:09

people together. And Joe's got special

21:11

needs and you've got

21:12

>> I thought the vibe was great. I mean,

21:14

not alone, not just the drawing, too,

21:15

but how quick you're able to do it, too.

21:17

It was [music] really cool.

21:17

>> Joe, do you like cleaning?

21:18

>> Bring it on, Mike.

21:20

I guess I don't know.

21:22

>> All right, let's get up for contestant

21:23

number six.

21:25

>> Yeah,

21:26

>> I've got some bad news. The new year is

21:28

flying by and [music] that new year, new

21:30

me is starting to wear off. All the

21:32

worries you had last year are starting

21:34

to creep back in. Your resolutions are

21:36

becoming expectations and starting to

21:38

feel unreachable, which I know makes you

21:40

feel [music] overwhelmed. That feeling

21:42

turns into stress and suddenly your

21:44

health becomes less of a priority.

21:46

People at the beginning of the year

21:47

start going to the gym every day and

21:49

then around this time it [music] becomes

21:50

like once a week which is sad. Life

21:53

starts feeling heavier than usual. Your

21:54

instinct tells you to bottle in to lock

21:57

it in. [music] But that's what you did

21:58

last year. Now you're repeating the

22:00

cycle. The good news is you're not

22:02

alone, my friend. I am like you. You can

22:04

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Thanks for supporting. Make sure to

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like, share, comment, and subscribe. I

22:38

love you. Let's get back to Trevor and

22:39

Zach, those funny guys. Mwah. All right,

22:43

let's get up for the last contestant.

22:45

[music] Contestant number seven.

22:48

>> What the?

22:49

>> Okay. Oh [ __ ]

22:50

>> Oh, she's leaving behind skid marks.

22:52

>> Oh [ __ ]

22:54

>> Oh, push. She's strong.

22:56

>> Cockroaches can do anything.

22:58

>> Wow.

22:59

>> Hey.

22:59

>> Hey. Welcome.

23:01

>> Are those red eyes? Damn. Wait. You like

23:04

Sasuke?

23:05

>> Oh, are you are you an anime?

23:07

>> Are you [laughter] anime? The char gun.

23:09

The sh gun.

23:11

You like his face?

23:12

>> Yeah.

23:12

>> I like the cockroach.

23:14

>> Okay.

23:14

>> Wait. So why a cockroach?

23:19

>> You don't die.

23:20

>> You are big.

23:24

>> You want to show us? You want to reveal

23:26

yourself?

23:26

>> Oh. Oh. So she can show us who she is.

23:29

>> She's got more like underneath. How do

23:30

you interpret these things? Like a

23:32

cockroach crawls in the room and like

23:34

>> You should look behind you. Look behind

23:35

you.

23:36

>> Maybe she's a pomemetto.

23:37

>> Yeah, you have to repaint the floor. You

23:39

left your mark on us and the stage. So

23:41

that's good.

23:43

>> I like her.

23:45

>> What's your red flag without talking?

23:50

>> You give your heart away too fast.

23:52

>> You're a giver.

23:57

>> Love bomb.

23:58

>> Love bomb.

23:59

>> Love.

24:00

>> So that means you love bomb and then you

24:02

get out of there.

24:04

You get them hooked and then you

24:07

>> you know how to cook.

24:09

>> All right, guys. [music] Let's do uh

24:10

let's do the vibe check.

24:11

>> Are you going to do skin for next round?

24:14

>> I'm actually excited.

24:16

>> All right. 3 2 1

24:20

>> Yep. That's fine. That's good.

24:22

>> All right.

24:22

>> I mean, it was different. The vibe was

24:24

like crazy. She just came out crawling

24:26

around in a costume.

24:27

>> She's got confidence.

24:28

>> No, it's very confident.

24:30

>> I like the boldness. She made a mark

24:32

here. Mark the territory.

24:33

>> You going to do that with him later?

24:35

>> Oh [music] [ __ ]

24:36

>> Oh.

24:36

>> Okay. Well, let's give it up for

24:37

contestant number seven.

24:39

>> Yeah.

24:40

>> Very creative.

24:42

>> All right, guys. Welcome to the first

24:44

elimination. It was really fun getting

24:46

to know you guys based off your guys'

24:48

vibe. Um, what did you think?

24:50

>> I liked them all. They were really good.

24:51

>> They're awesome.

24:52

>> They're all sweet.

24:53

>> Good personality. Seriously. [music]

24:54

>> Yeah. You guys ready?

24:55

>> We're going to flip at the same time.

24:56

Ready? 3 2 1.

24:59

>> So sorry.

25:00

>> No. Awesome. I'm so sorry. You're

25:02

awesome, though.

25:03

>> Let's give it up for contestant number

25:04

three. [applause]

25:08

>> Sweet.

25:08

>> Good to meet you.

25:09

>> Good to meet you, too. I hope you find

25:11

someone. Everyone, thank you so much.

25:12

It's really beautiful here.

25:13

>> I'm kind of glad I'm not going in a

25:14

breakup song, though.

25:15

>> It was love and breakup, not [music]

25:17

just breakup.

25:18

>> She would have made two albums out of

25:20

>> Could you just give us a little taste of

25:22

why you're walking away?

25:23

>> Oh, I can't hear you now. Music's loud.

25:27

Girl's not out. I'm doing better without

25:31

you around. Lost in the crowd. Girls

25:35

night out. [cheering]

25:37

[applause]

25:39

>> That was really good.

25:42

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back to this amazing video. All right,

27:00

so welcome to the first impressions.

27:02

We're excited to get to know you guys a

27:03

little bit more. For Joe, he's a little

27:05

shy boy. So, [music] contestant number

27:08

one, please introduce yourself and tell

27:10

me why you think you should date my son.

27:13

>> Okay. Hi, I'm Noella. I think I should

27:16

date your son because I'm a really big

27:17

family girl. So, if he's acting out of

27:19

line, then I'll let you know. But also

27:22

[laughter]

27:22

also I'm a really big like explorer and

27:25

very spontaneous and I like to travel

27:27

and I feel like your son is giving the

27:29

vibe that I don't need a one-way ticket

27:30

home. I'll just be with him forever.

27:34

>> A

27:35

>> Where is your home? Where are you from?

27:37

>> I'm from Colorado and my whole family

27:39

lives there. Like everybody. [music]

27:40

>> I hear a little accent.

27:42

>> I thought a little southern.

27:43

>> A Colorado accent. [laughter]

27:45

>> Little twang or something.

27:46

>> Twang. Yeah.

27:47

>> Dang. Okay. Well, I didn't think I

27:49

didn't Maybe I just sound like a

27:51

chipmunk. I feel like I my voice is

27:52

really high. No, I don't think Colorado

27:54

has an accent.

27:55

>> You guys hear the accent, too, right? A

27:56

little bit.

27:57

>> Yeah.

27:58

>> It's a great voice, though.

27:59

>> Thank you.

27:59

>> How do you feel about a guy who doesn't

28:00

have a car?

28:01

>> I drive.

28:02

>> She drives, David.

28:03

>> I drive. [laughter]

28:05

She drives. Okay.

28:06

>> You can drive my car. As long as you can

28:07

drive, you won't crash it.

28:08

>> I can drive.

28:09

>> She's my baby. Her name's Chanel. So,

28:11

don't crash.

28:11

>> Her name's Chanel.

28:13

>> She's bougie. She's bougie.

28:15

>> No way. You seem very sweet. What's like

28:19

the worst thing about you? Like what's

28:21

the worst thing you've done or like what

28:23

makes you like bad?

28:24

>> I can be super super blunt and [music]

28:26

super like straight to the point. Like I

28:27

have very strong opinions. So

28:29

>> Oo, name one.

28:31

>> No, that's okay. It's it's if it's if

28:33

like we're in conversation with

28:34

somebody, right, and you're talking with

28:35

someone and they say something that I

28:37

completely don't agree with. I'm not the

28:38

type of person that's just going to like

28:40

>> Oh, I like that. That's good.

28:41

>> Like if someone says like women belong

28:42

in the kitchen, what do you say? Um, if

28:45

she wants to be. If she wants to be,

28:46

then great. And no, I don't believe all

28:48

women belong in the kitchen.

28:49

>> Yeah. Some women suck in the kitchen.

28:51

>> Yeah. Like,

28:52

>> oh, [snorts] they should not. Yeah.

28:53

>> If you can't cook or bake, then no. Then

28:55

it's okay. But yeah.

28:56

>> All right. That was awesome. Give it up

28:58

for contestant number one. [applause]

29:00

>> Hi, contestant number two.

29:02

>> Hi.

29:02

>> Could you introduce yourself and tell us

29:04

why you think [music] you should date

29:06

the infamous Joe?

29:07

>> My name is Sienna and I think I should

29:10

date your son because you know [music]

29:11

I'm hot and he's hot. good jean pool,

29:14

you know, very caring.

29:15

>> I like the confidence.

29:17

>> Now that you can talk, tell us about the

29:18

outfit.

29:19

>> Okay, so I was going to wear a

29:22

completely different shirt and then my

29:25

girl roommate told me that I couldn't

29:27

wear it. So my guy roommate said, "Oh,

29:29

you should wear this."

29:30

>> Oh, you have a guy room?

29:31

>> You have a guy roomate?

29:32

>> I have three guy roommates.

29:35

>> I have three guy [music] roommates and

29:37

one girl roommate, and we're all best

29:39

friends.

29:39

>> You ever hooked up with any of them?

29:41

>> No. [laughter] No.

29:42

>> How do you

29:43

>> So, you were just worried about the

29:44

shirt, not the pants and the [music]

29:45

shoes.

29:46

>> Oh, no, no, no, no. Like, I like these.

29:48

I wear these all the time.

29:49

>> I can tell.

29:50

>> I'm not going to lie to you. I only have

29:51

one. [laughter] I only have one pair of

29:53

shoes. [music]

29:54

I'm very easily pleased. I don't really

29:56

need a lot.

29:56

>> Oh, then Joe's perfect for you.

29:58

[laughter]

29:58

>> Yeah. How many pairs of shoes do you

30:00

have?

30:02

>> It looks like you have one like me. We

30:03

could do like a a high five.

30:06

>> Hey, homeless twin.

30:07

>> Homeless twin.

30:08

>> Homeless twin. He He has more shoes than

30:10

most women, but he only wears one pair

30:12

every time.

30:13

>> Yeah, I have like one pair of going out

30:15

shoes and then one pair of just everyday

30:17

shoes.

30:17

>> Those aren't going out shoes.

30:18

>> These are my running, jogging, walking,

30:21

moonwalking.

30:23

>> I'm not going to lie, dude. Those look

30:24

like bar shoes.

30:25

>> Bar shoes. I don't leave my house. So,

30:29

>> what is going out then?

30:30

>> What is going out? Like, if I have to,

30:32

like if my friends are like, let's it's

30:34

a birthday or it's like a something like

30:36

that. I have like a pair of black boots.

30:38

Huh?

30:39

>> What do you do indoors?

30:40

>> Indoors?

30:40

>> What do you like to do? Yeah,

30:41

>> I'm playing Pokemon right now. It's

30:43

taking up a lot of my time.

30:45

>> Which Pokémon?

30:46

>> The new [music] one that just came out.

30:47

>> Oh, Z

30:48

>> on. Yeah, on Switch.

30:49

>> Is it good?

30:50

>> Very good. Very good.

30:52

>> No, it's really fun.

30:54

>> That's cool.

30:54

>> Great time. Great time. Literally don't

30:56

do anything else.

30:58

>> They just interlin their

31:00

>> inter.

31:02

>> Wow. Okay, cool. All right, let's give

31:05

up contestant number two. [applause]

31:06

>> Oh, wait. I'm talking.

31:09

Okay, contestant number three.

31:10

>> Contestant number three, please

31:12

introduce yourself and tell us why you

31:14

should date Joe. I'm Jaden. I'm 24 and I

31:18

should date your [music] son because

31:19

like the yo-yo, I like to keep my

31:21

strings attached.

31:24

>> I'm very loyal, very family oriented.

31:26

>> Oh, I like that.

31:27

>> I collect hobbies. That's what I like to

31:29

do. I can play one song on like the

31:31

piano, one song on like guitar. So,

31:33

>> what's your like [music] the worst hobby

31:35

you picked up?

31:36

>> Drinking,

31:37

>> but I'm trying to get out of that.

31:39

>> Drinking.

31:39

>> You said drinking?

31:40

>> Yeah.

31:41

>> You addicted?

31:42

>> I'm not addicted. No.

31:43

>> How did you pick that up as a hobby that

31:45

you're like, I should start drinking?

31:47

[laughter]

31:47

>> Cuz I don't do anything.

31:48

>> Uh yo-yoing. Yo-yoing. Uh drinking.

31:52

>> Yeah, exactly. [laughter] When you're

31:53

yo-yoing, it's like this would be better

31:54

drinking.

31:55

>> It's like hard mode.

31:56

>> Yeah, but I'm trying to get out of that.

31:58

I'm

31:58

>> drinking is a neurotoxin that should get

32:00

you to quit.

32:01

>> How often do you drink? Not often

32:02

anymore.

32:03

>> Was it often?

32:05

>> For a little bit. Yeah.

32:06

>> Are you drunk right now?

32:07

>> No.

32:07

>> Okay.

32:08

>> Did you take a shot today?

32:09

>> Maybe.

32:11

>> Did you take a shot today?

32:13

>> Many. [laughter]

32:15

>> Fun fact about Joe is that he does not

32:16

drink.

32:17

>> I can stop drinking. That's fine.

32:19

>> All right, let's give a contestant.

32:20

>> Wait, hold on. Hold. Wait.

32:22

>> Oh, man.

32:22

>> What was with the leash thing? I need to

32:24

know about the leash.

32:25

>> Okay. Honestly, I kind of just went with

32:26

that cuz I didn't know how to like mime

32:28

anything. I won't put you on a leash

32:30

unless you want me to.

32:31

>> Do you want to, Joe?

32:33

>> I needed to know. He asked it again. I

32:36

needed to know. It's been on his mind.

32:38

>> You know, he's so down.

32:39

>> Yeah, [music]

32:40

>> that was that was definitely the

32:41

standout earlier, so I needed to know.

32:43

>> Hey, by the way, we're not cutting any

32:44

of that out. Let's give it up for

32:45

contestant.

32:49

>> Contestant number four, introduce

32:51

yourself and why you should why Mama

32:54

Zurk should date.

32:55

>> Yeah. Why Mama Zurk should let you date

32:58

her son.

32:58

>> Well, hello everyone. My name is

33:00

Kennedy. Um, I think I should date your

33:04

son because uh my regular job I work

33:07

with kids, so [music] I'm very well with

33:09

patients.

33:10

>> She got it. She [laughter] got it.

33:12

>> Perfect. Wait, what does that have to do

33:14

with me though?

33:15

>> Well,

33:17

known fact, adults still act like

33:19

children.

33:20

>> Boys are like fully grown toddlers.

33:22

>> Well, not not me. Just for the record.

33:24

[laughter] Just for the record. That's

33:25

the thing. I'll have patience.

33:27

>> Let's go to contestant number five.

33:30

>> Hi, my name is Ammy, but you can call me

33:32

your future daughter-in-law.

33:34

>> You should let me date your son because

33:36

I have very strong family values. They

33:38

say when you marry a man, you also marry

33:40

his family. And I've always wanted to

33:42

marry a hot mom.

33:44

>> Oh,

33:46

using a lot of tactics here. Yeah,

33:47

there's a lot of

33:48

>> Yeah,

33:49

>> a lot of manipulation here.

33:51

>> I'm just funny. That was just like a

33:53

standup bit. I'm just I'm just a funny

33:55

guy.

33:55

>> She's just a funny guy.

33:57

>> I like jokes

33:58

>> and I'll make him laugh like all the

33:59

time. I'm hilarious.

34:01

>> It's Have a great time.

34:04

>> You got [laughter] me. You got me.

34:06

>> Look, you got him with that, dude.

34:07

>> Yes, he's laughing. Look, he does that

34:10

same thing you just did.

34:13

>> When you do that thing,

34:14

>> do I don't recall that you do a tongue

34:17

emote?

34:17

>> Wait, is it like a that kind of tongue

34:20

or like a this kind of tongue?

34:23

Woo!

34:24

>> That's like deep sea diving.

34:25

>> She just diving.

34:27

>> You hear that? Rude.

34:27

>> Got advanced methods.

34:29

>> How many other guys are using that on?

34:31

Huh?

34:31

>> I love flirting. It's fun. But I'm

34:33

pretty straightforward. Like I'm not

34:34

going to do anything behind someone's

34:36

back. You know

34:36

>> the skin for contest five. Nice.

34:38

>> Contestant five. Let's go. [applause]

34:41

>> Contest number six. Are we going to get

34:42

to see what you look like?

34:44

>> I'll shed the exoskeleton.

34:45

>> Okay.

34:47

>> I'm breaking out, guys.

34:49

>> Okay. So, you shed your skin. You

34:51

brought something out. What do you got

34:53

in your hand?

34:54

>> So, um, in Korean culture, meeting the

34:56

parents is a huge deal. So, it's

34:58

customary to bring a gift that is

35:00

usually healthbased.

35:02

>> So, this is for mom.

35:03

>> Oh, that's so sweet.

35:06

>> That's so sweet.

35:07

>> Red Jinseng.

35:08

>> Oh, nice.

35:09

>> It's a supplement.

35:11

>> Thank you.

35:11

>> You just have to be mindful of

35:12

medication interactions.

35:14

>> Thank you so much.

35:15

>> Wa. She's like a healthy.

35:20

Very good tactic on

35:21

>> That's a crazy tactic.

35:22

>> I like that.

35:23

>> Damn. Pay to win is crazy.

35:25

>> Yeah.

35:26

>> Pay to win.

35:27

>> She's literally doing pay to win.

35:29

>> College. My roommate in college was from

35:31

Korea.

35:33

>> Oh yeah.

35:33

>> So you know about Jins?

35:35

>> Yeah. Yeah. And his mom used to make the

35:37

best food for us. Why should you date

35:40

Joseph?

35:41

>> So um a lot of my friends say that I'm

35:43

the kind of girl that builds a man up

35:45

for his next wife. Uh, every guy I've

35:47

been in a relationship with has uh gone

35:50

through a glow up. I would do math with

35:51

him in the mornings.

35:52

>> You do math with him?

35:53

>> Yeah. Even if I'm not permanent, at

35:55

least he will be a better husband for

35:57

his next wife.

35:58

>> Wow.

35:59

>> Do you think Joe can glow up from this?

36:02

>> I mean, he's already really cute. Um, I

36:04

do care more about like [music] your

36:05

hobbies and stuff. I heard you like

36:07

Pokémon.

36:08

>> I do.

36:08

>> Do you like cars?

36:10

>> Oh my god.

36:10

>> Okay. Um, I have a Pokemon card

36:13

collection and I want to learn how to

36:15

drive manual. I want to modify my Miata.

36:19

>> I can drive manual.

36:21

>> You can?

36:21

>> Yeah.

36:22

>> That's sick.

36:22

>> Yeah.

36:23

>> Is there like [music] what's your

36:24

coolest car fact?

36:25

>> When I was 13 years old, I designed I

36:28

was part of a team that designed and

36:29

raced a F1 car in a national competition

36:33

and I was the designer and we won gold

36:34

[music] with honors for design.

36:36

>> Wow, that's awesome. That's impressive.

36:39

That's really cool. Do you like girls

36:40

with tattoos, J?

36:41

>> I would say it's like not like a like a

36:44

big thing for me. Like I'd prefer like

36:46

no or minimal tattoos, but I wouldn't

36:48

say it's like a deal breakaker.

36:49

>> Okay.

36:50

>> I think it's cool. I like the like

36:51

dragon.

36:52

>> You like dragons?

36:53

>> Yeah.

36:54

>> Dragon these nuts.

36:58

[cheering]

36:58

>> That's

37:00

[ __ ] go, dude.

37:02

>> I've been waiting for that. I've been

37:03

wanting to say that for two shows now.

37:04

>> You just got [ __ ] got, dude.

37:06

>> Only you could do it. That's amazing.

37:08

Yeah, let's [ __ ] go.

37:10

>> She got your ass.

37:12

>> Yeah. Holy [ __ ] dude. Get [ __ ]

37:16

>> Okay, enough about uh Joe's massive

37:18

balls. We're moving on to the second

37:20

[music] elimination.

37:22

All right, guys. We're going to have you

37:23

guys turn around. We're going to have

37:25

the group chat discuss and we're going

37:27

to do a double elimination.

37:33

All right, guys. This is a really tough

37:35

elimination. Mom wanted to keep all you

37:37

guys again.

37:38

>> Yeah, she couldn't pick. So Justin

37:40

picked. He actually chose the

37:42

elimination. So if you guys get mad, get

37:44

mad. [laughter] Yeah.

37:45

>> Wow.

37:45

>> So it's all Justin's fault.

37:46

>> So see y'all later.

37:48

>> All right, guys. Ready?

37:51

>> I'm scared.

37:52

>> All right. Ready, guys?

37:53

>> Yeah.

37:54

>> Three, two, one.

37:58

>> I'm sorry.

37:59

>> I actually like her, too. [laughter] He

38:01

did this.

38:02

>> What the [ __ ] I play Pokemon.

38:06

You play Pokemon with your three guy

38:07

roommates.

38:08

>> Oh, brother. [laughter]

38:11

>> I actually do play Pokemon with them.

38:13

>> Mom, why did you eliminate uh two and

38:15

three?

38:16

>> Justin made me

38:17

>> Justin. Justin, why did you do it?

38:18

>> Oh, why did I eliminate two and three?

38:20

Really?

38:20

>> Why did you do that?

38:21

>> Well, I think [music] the the number two

38:23

was uh I already explained that one to

38:25

roommates.

38:26

>> Yeah,

38:26

>> you know, three guy [music] roommates.

38:28

That's just,

38:29

>> you know, kind of a bit of a ball for

38:30

Joe there.

38:31

>> Okay. Um, and then number three,

38:35

I actually have no [ __ ] clue.

38:37

[laughter]

38:37

>> I don't I don't think you're a good fit

38:39

for Joe.

38:40

>> Yeah, you don't even know me. You didn't

38:41

even take the time to get me. How would

38:43

you know?

38:43

>> You don't even know her. I ask a lot

38:45

[music] of questions. You don't even

38:46

[ __ ] know her.

38:47

>> You don't even know.

38:48

>> You don't know me. You could have got to

38:49

know me. All of you.

38:50

>> These guys are [ __ ]

38:51

>> Well, it's okay. I'm going to quit

38:52

Pokemon now. So, obviously, it doesn't

38:54

get me anymore. [laughter]

38:55

>> [ __ ] Pokemon.

38:56

>> He's just like, I'm [ __ ] picking up

38:58

drinking again. [ __ ] it. It's my hobby

39:00

again. I'm going to go take a shot.

39:02

>> All right, let's go up for contestants

39:04

two and three.

39:08

>> Welcome to the third round, guys. We're

39:10

going to ask you guys to finish a

39:11

statement. [music] It's a really fun

39:12

one. I would like you girls to finish

39:14

the statement. I don't mean to sound

39:16

like a [ __ ] but Okay, contestant

39:19

number one.

39:20

>> Okay, I don't mean to sound like a

39:21

[ __ ] but nonchalant men are so not it.

39:25

Like, I need you to be texting me like

39:26

quadruple texting me. Like, be on me. Be

39:28

obsessed with me. like nonchalant if I

39:30

hear type [music] [ __ ] Type [ __ ] and no

39:33

and you're staring at TV the whole time

39:34

like put your phone down and be present

39:37

cuz nonchalant men are no cake rocks.

39:40

>> Real quick, Joe Joe's not like a

39:42

nonchalant guy like in a you know one of

39:44

those corny ways. But like he's not

39:46

going to quadruple text you. Is that a

39:48

problem?

39:48

>> Why not?

39:49

>> Because he's he's just like he he gets

39:51

it done in one message. He's blunt. He

39:52

just says what he wants.

39:53

>> Okay. No, I I like that. I respect that.

39:55

But it's like, okay, like, oh, I'm not

39:57

going to I'm not going to message cuz I

39:59

I already got left und delivered. Or,

40:01

oh, no, I don't want to look desperate.

40:02

Like, I don't think that at all.

40:04

>> That's called playing games. That's You

40:06

don't want to

40:07

>> Oh, I don't have time for that.

40:08

>> Yeah. Nobody's got Nobody's got time for

40:10

that.

40:10

>> No, I don't have time to play games.

40:12

>> Yeah, he's a busy guy, so he's not going

40:13

to quadruple text like text you like

40:15

crazy and everything, but

40:16

>> he's not going to be like a puppy dog.

40:17

>> I didn't say text me four times. I said

40:20

like text when you want to. Don't be

40:21

>> Oh, no. You said quadruple text.

40:22

>> Yeah, you did.

40:23

>> Yeah. Like express yourself loudly. I

40:25

don't have time for like chill.

40:27

>> I want to [ __ ]

40:30

[laughter]

40:31

You got it.

40:32

>> Oh yeah.

40:33

>> Straight to the point.

40:34

>> Moving on to contestant number two.

40:36

Finish the statement. I don't want to

40:38

sound like a [ __ ] but

40:40

>> I don't want to sound like a [ __ ] but

40:42

I cannot baby anyone on the first date.

40:45

>> You keep talking about this whole

40:46

toddler thing and all that stuff. Like,

40:48

are you hinting is he giving off that

40:50

vibe? [music] When I go on dates, like

40:52

men will be like, "Oh, like, can you

40:54

hold me?" Hell no.

40:57

>> That's not a man. And I'm like, "Not a

40:58

man. That's not

40:59

>> Does he drink matcha?"

41:01

>> Probably. I don't know.

41:02

>> Okay. [laughter] Okay. Don't [ __ ] on

41:04

matcha. Don't [ __ ] on matcha.

41:06

>> It'll be like, "Oh, yeah. Like, can you

41:09

do this for me? Can you do that for me?

41:10

This, and the other." And I'm like, "Why

41:12

am I talking with you?"

41:13

>> Yeah. Where are you finding these guys?

41:15

>> Where are you finding? You find them at

41:16

the playground. Dude, you tell I don't

41:19

know.

41:20

>> Oh my god. I would die.

41:21

>> I don't find them.

41:23

>> They're the [ __ ] not you.

41:24

>> The only thing is though, Joe gives

41:26

really good [music] nuzzles. So like,

41:28

>> but it's different though.

41:29

>> You want to know what that is?

41:30

[laughter]

41:31

>> Okay, so Joe, do the nuzzle thing to me.

41:33

>> Dude, just show them what you do.

41:34

>> Oh, is it like nuzzle?

41:41

>> Like that's fine, you know. But

41:44

>> yeah, if you want a motor above me,

41:45

sure. Well, no.

41:47

>> No, it's not a motorboat. It's like a

41:48

nuzzle.

41:49

>> It's not supposed to be at the tip. My

41:51

bad. It can be anywhere. It can be to my

41:52

back.

41:52

>> It's just cuz I I only usually do it to

41:54

guys, so I've never even had to think

41:55

about boobs being there, so [laughter]

41:57

it's like not weird like

42:00

>> moving on to contest number three.

42:02

Finish this statement. I don't mean to

42:03

sound like a [ __ ] but

42:05

>> I don't mean to sound like a [ __ ] but

42:07

I don't think tall guys are all that.

42:09

Hey.

42:10

>> Okay.

42:15

>> Wait, so why do you say that?

42:17

>> I've dated guys shorter than me to

42:20

taller than me. And what I've noticed is

42:21

like the taller they are, the less they

42:23

try and the more nonchalant they are.

42:25

And I hate that.

42:26

>> That fact.

42:27

>> Yeah. I like guys that wear their heart

42:29

on their sleeve cuz I wear my heart on

42:31

my sleeve. So I want none of that.

42:33

>> That facts. That tall [ __ ] is lame. This

42:35

is like the first time we've actually

42:37

got to hear like a true response from

42:38

you. I don't think we've heard like

42:40

anything but a clip from him this whole

42:41

time.

42:42

>> This is huge.

42:43

>> I'm just trying to make y'all laugh.

42:44

That's all.

42:45

>> She's a funny girl. I just like to he

42:47

haha.

42:48

>> No, it's amazing. No, like that was

42:50

actually beautiful. Like

42:50

>> it was great. Yeah, I love

42:52

>> Joe is very similar. He's a clip farmer.

42:54

>> Am I just a clip farm to you? Am I just

42:58

content? [music]

42:59

>> No.

43:00

>> So much content and you're never

43:02

content. That was poetic.

43:05

>> Holy holy.

43:06

>> Holy [ __ ]

43:07

>> I got that from a meme. I didn't write

43:08

that.

43:09

>> Okay, so let's all agree. Short guys are

43:11

better.

43:12

>> I don't think we all agree.

43:13

>> No, we don't agree on that.

43:14

>> I like them head height.

43:17

>> Who wants a tall guy?

43:19

>> I want a tall guy.

43:20

>> And they're like,

43:22

>> "Oh shit."

43:23

>> Okay. Yeah, that's a very cool

43:25

depiction.

43:25

>> So you're into the deep diving,

43:28

>> spelunking.

43:29

>> He is an eater.

43:31

>> No, not like that, David. Oh, you don't

43:32

eat.

43:34

>> Ladies, I just want to ask the rest of

43:36

you guys. Do you guys like uh tall guys

43:38

or short guys?

43:38

>> Yeah, it doesn't matter if what their

43:40

size is. It's not the size of the wave.

43:42

It's the motion of the ocean.

43:43

>> Boom.

43:44

>> Are you talking about sex? [music]

43:46

>> What? You was talking about height and

43:47

stuff.

43:48

>> Oh, okay. Let's move on to uh the last

43:50

contestant.

43:51

>> A I missed you.

43:53

>> Damn. Damn. Okay. Pay to win and hitting

43:57

every note.

43:58

>> Joe, are you good at You're not good at

43:59

flirting, huh? Back.

44:00

>> No. Can you say one flirty [laughter]

44:02

thing?

44:03

>> I don't know how to flirt. I don't talk

44:04

to girls.

44:05

>> That's a green flag.

44:06

>> That's like my problem. Like I don't

44:08

know how to talk to them. [music] Can we

44:09

do a simulated a simulation then between

44:12

you two?

44:12

>> Yeah. Well, how would you go up to him

44:14

and flirt with him at a bar?

44:15

>> I feel like I'd find him at a

44:16

convention.

44:17

>> Okay. Pretend it's an anime con.

44:18

>> Okay. Do you cosplay?

44:20

>> Yeah. I was Luffy.

44:21

>> You're Luffy. Okay. I could I could be

44:24

Boa if you want. Do a whole double

44:27

cosplay.

44:30

>> Tapped in. You okay?

44:31

>> What do you say in response to that?

44:32

>> We could Don't look at us, dude. We're

44:34

not here. [music]

44:35

>> [ __ ] You're right. [ __ ]

44:36

>> There's got to be a segue to Hancock.

44:38

>> Oh, you know, it's got to be like

44:39

>> You could put your [ __ ] in my hand.

44:44

>> Sorry.

44:45

>> What you do? Like a

44:47

>> So, this is like a first impression type

44:48

of thing. [laughter]

44:49

>> You definitely won't know what to say to

44:50

that.

44:51

>> You know what? Hey, we tried it. It

44:52

didn't work. Let's move on. All right.

44:54

Contest number four. Finish the

44:55

statement. I don't mean to sound like a

44:57

[ __ ] but

44:58

>> I don't mean to sound like a [ __ ] but

44:59

I think more people need to suffer.

45:04

>> Suffer in what way? Like [music]

45:06

>> I've met many people that haven't gone

45:07

through enough suffering and there it

45:09

like breathes entitlement, complacency.

45:12

I feel like being uncomfortable and

45:14

going through the trials of life. That's

45:16

the kind of person I can relate to. Um,

45:18

I've dated people who have had very like

45:21

sheltered lives, easy lives, and nothing

45:24

against that's amazing for them, but I

45:26

just can't relate to those kind of

45:27

people because they don't um I feel like

45:30

you have to go through things to

45:31

understand the value of something.

45:33

>> Wow.

45:33

>> And to grow and to Yeah,

45:35

>> I respect [applause] that.

45:37

>> I Yeah,

45:40

>> that being said, people should suffer,

45:42

dude.

45:43

>> Once you explained it, it all made

45:45

sense.

45:46

>> It all connected. It was a little weird

45:47

at the start, but he brought it home and

45:49

I respect it.

45:50

>> Has he suffered enough? You think

45:51

[music]

45:51

>> he's gone through some [ __ ]

45:52

>> Yeah, he came from Canada.

45:54

>> Yeah.

45:55

>> O, that's tough.

45:56

>> Could you trauma dump Joe? I don't know.

45:58

Nothing bad has really ever happened to

46:00

me.

46:01

>> Cool. Period. I'm

46:02

>> chilling.

46:03

>> Maybe she could arrange that for you.

46:05

>> I could be the character development you

46:07

need.

46:08

>> Yes.

46:09

>> I am building you up for your next wife.

46:12

>> Yes, exactly. Goes with her etho. You

46:14

[music] can literally fall in love with

46:15

her and she'll ruin your life.

46:17

>> Wait, I'll just I'll just stress him out

46:18

a little.

46:19

>> How have you suffered, do you think?

46:21

>> Obviously, it's not the Olympics, but I

46:23

did have a pretty crazy upbringing.

46:25

>> Could we hear about it or is that

46:26

private?

46:27

>> No, really.

46:27

>> I won't go too much into detail, but

46:30

someone did try to kill me [music] when

46:31

I was younger and I

46:33

>> did go through like 10 years of abuse

46:36

and I ran away from home and that's why

46:37

I'm in [music] America.

46:38

>> Oh,

46:39

>> yeah.

46:40

>> Good for you. Good for you. Good job.

46:42

>> I'm proud of you. Yeah. I don't do five

46:43

that.

46:44

>> Yeah.

46:46

[applause]

46:46

>> Good job.

46:48

>> Well, we can't eliminate her. Which

46:50

brings you up to my next thing.

46:51

[laughter] Let's go to the next

46:52

elimination.

46:53

>> Guys, this was a really tough

46:54

elimination because Alice, you know,

46:58

made us really sad. So,

47:00

>> I'm sorry.

47:01

>> All right, guys. So, the girl the group

47:03

chat [music] has decided to kick is

47:12

make sure to like, share, subscribe cuz

47:13

we're giving away two people 50

47:15

buckonies who comment below within the

47:17

first 2,000 [music] comments.

47:18

>> David will double it if it hits a

47:20

certain like goal. What's the like goal?

47:22

>> 40,000 again.

47:24

>> Damn.

47:25

All right, that being said,

47:28

>> the girl we will be eliminating is

47:31

number

47:34

three.

47:36

>> I'm so sorry.

47:37

>> That's so beautiful.

47:38

>> I made you a drawing.

47:40

>> Contestant number three.

47:41

>> It's really beautiful. It hurts my soul.

47:44

>> You should know. I like [music] foot

47:46

guys, but whatever.

47:48

>> OH [ __ ]

47:50

>> [ __ ] You missed,

47:51

>> dude.

47:52

>> Oh, wait. We talked to We sunk the back.

47:54

>> That's on us though.

47:56

>> You will never see me again.

47:57

>> Oh my Whoa. What the [ __ ] did you guys

48:00

do?

48:00

>> That was a threat.

48:01

>> I'm sorry.

48:01

>> I'm sorry, dude.

48:02

>> No one You didn't ask. No one knew that.

48:03

>> Maybe you talk more and you can figure

48:05

this [ __ ] out.

48:05

>> If you just [ __ ] asked her, dude,

48:07

>> Joe has a lot of walls up a lot of the

48:10

times. So, what does love [music] mean

48:12

to you? And this time, we're going to

48:14

start with Atlas.

48:15

>> I think love for me was like a journey I

48:17

had to learn [music] cuz I didn't have

48:19

uh love growing up. I think love is the

48:22

people that you see [music] in that

48:23

15-second DMT trip when you die.

48:26

>> The 15 seconds what?

48:28

>> So when when you die, the reason why

48:29

people say that, "Oh, I see my whole

48:31

[music] life flashing in front of us."

48:32

It's cuz your brain naturally releases

48:34

DMT. So you actually go on this massive

48:36

psychedelic [music]

48:37

trip as you're dying.

48:39

>> And I think all the people I love will

48:40

be in there.

48:41

>> Well, you come from love, so you return

48:42

to love. So

48:43

>> yeah, I was beautiful. Moving on to

48:45

contestant number two. So how would you

48:46

describe love? I feel [music] like that

48:49

is what conquers all. People try to hate

48:51

around all the time, but love is really

48:53

something that just molds into a

48:56

beautiful flower, you know, for everyone

48:57

[music] to just rejoice and have a good

48:59

time. Also, with love, it comes with

49:01

five love languages.

49:02

>> What's your [music] love language?

49:03

>> Words of affirmation. And between these

49:07

next two would be um gift giving and

49:10

[music] acts of service.

49:11

>> Cool. I'm going to see if you guys are

49:12

compatible now. Joe, what's your love

49:14

language? Mine is definitely quality

49:16

time. That's what I like.

49:18

>> Same.

49:19

>> Really?

49:19

>> You're too busy.

49:20

>> But that then I appreciate it.

49:22

>> Oh,

49:23

>> it's not about quantity, it's about

49:24

quality.

49:25

>> Um,

49:25

>> it also works for penet sizes.

49:27

>> Nice, dude. Moving on to the last

49:28

contestant.

49:29

>> I think love to me is like when a future

49:32

with somebody becomes possible. And I

49:34

think ultimately love is a feeling and

49:36

it starts a feeling, but then it becomes

49:37

a choice. Like [music] I don't want it

49:39

just to be like

49:40

>> ahead.

49:41

>> What did you say?

49:42

>> What? [laughter] I think he has

49:43

something stuck in his throat.

49:44

>> Eventually, you're going to be 60, 70,

49:46

80 years old. Like, I would still want

49:48

to be jumping each other's bones at like

49:50

60. Like, 100%.

49:51

>> What does that mean?

49:52

>> Getting it on at like 60.

49:54

>> That's [laughter] fire. I'm going to use

49:55

that. Do you guys think jumping bones

49:57

every day is needed in a relationship to

49:59

keep it thriving

50:00

>> like every until you're 80?

50:02

>> I I've heard like if you were jumping

50:03

bones, you know what I mean, like weekly

50:05

at least, [music] you know, I mean, or

50:06

daily or whatever it is, it keeps the

50:08

relationship alive, right? Well, I guess

50:10

the question I guess what he's trying to

50:11

ask is how often would you guys like to

50:13

have sex in a relationship?

50:15

>> Every day.

50:17

>> Will you guys

50:18

>> like if I feel it? Yeah.

50:20

>> Like four times a month at least. That's

50:22

one a week at least.

50:22

>> Cool. Yeah. Joe, what what's your rate?

50:24

[music]

50:27

>> He can't count that high. He could

50:29

barely do these numbers.

50:31

>> I mean,

50:31

>> okay, guys. Now, we're going to make our

50:33

final decision to see who the [music]

50:34

group chat thinks is perfect for Joe.

50:37

Joe, can you write down yours? We've

50:39

decided on a very special woman here. By

50:41

the way, you three, [music] we wanted to

50:43

bring all of you guys home, but

50:44

unfortunately, I don't think you guys

50:45

want to be three wives. So, um, we're

50:47

gonna we're going to we're going to pick

50:49

one here. We're going to pick [music]

50:51

girl woman number three.

50:53

>> Oh, YEAH.

51:00

>> Let's give it up for contestant number

51:02

[music] one and two.

51:04

[applause and cheering]

51:04

Woo!

51:05

>> But before you go, Joe, would you reveal

51:08

your

51:08

>> P?

51:14

It was great to meet you.

51:15

>> Great to meet you, too.

51:16

>> It was really great to meet you.

51:18

>> Hi.

51:18

>> So fun.

51:19

>> Hi.

51:20

>> You're the roach. I just remembered.

51:22

>> He forgot I was the roach.

51:23

>> The roach. [laughter]

51:25

>> You bring me like seven or eight girls

51:27

and I pick a cockroach.

51:29

>> Hey, I'm resilient. I can survive

51:31

nuclear war.

51:32

>> She's a cool cockroach, though. Yeah,

51:33

>> I think we picked you, Alice, because

51:35

one, you love cars and Joe loves cars.

51:37

>> I'm a newbie to the car. You see?

51:39

>> Okay. Well, cars, so

51:41

>> Oh, me too. We have that in common. Do

51:42

you want to see how short I am,

51:43

actually?

51:44

>> Yes.

51:44

>> So, you can feel taller.

51:45

>> Oh, Joe. Rocking.

51:48

>> Here we go.

51:49

>> Oh, that's

51:50

>> Yeah. So cute. Oh my god.

51:52

>> You You are stunningly beautiful.

51:53

>> Thank you.

51:54

>> Someone's stealing from the the wear.

51:57

>> What?

51:59

[laughter]

51:59

Dude,

52:00

>> does he want my socks, too? Yeah. Yeah.

52:03

>> Make sure to check out the extended

52:04

version on our Hero Hero on Puppies

52:06

Plus. It's longer. It's crazier. Go

52:09

check it out. It goes up tomorrow. I

52:11

love you guys. Mhm.

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