Peanuts Funniest Moments | Vol. 12

All right.

>> I'm I'm first. I'm go first. I'm go

first.

>> So, all at once. I want all you boys at

once. Three.

Two. Oh, I got to count first. One.

Jump. [screaming] Get some.

>> Let's go. I [screaming]

got him.

>> Officer, say any word in the English

lection card and I'll pop it up. Uh,

bananas.

Oh [ __ ] [laughter]

Peanut, my friend is tripping balls.

Help her. Nightmare. Nightmare.

Nightmare. Nightmare. Nightmare.

Nightmare. [screaming] They're in your

They're They're in your walls. Run. Here

you go.

What are you doing? [screaming]

[ __ ] [ __ ]

>> No scope.

>> Oh, I got him.

>> How many over there? How many over

there?

>> We being so [ __ ] for real right now.

Are we being super duper for real right

now? What the hell was that?

>> Where' the guy go?

Did we get him?

I've not seen the body. I've not seen

the body. He's still alive.

[clears throat] Oh,

I [screaming] got him.

All right, buddy. Who posted this in the

fan art chat? Who's posting this in the

fan art chat? Who did this? What's going

on here? What are we doing here? What's

going on here?

>> Are you a furry?

>> Let you sit with that one for a second.

>> Let you sit with that one for a second.

You You You

piece of [ __ ] I'm going let you sit

with I'm going let you sit with that one

for a second.

>> Do I look like a furry?

Do I look like a furry pal?

>> All right. [ __ ] every single [ __ ] I am

not a furry. I do not enjoy dressing up

in big sweaty dog suits and having

profused dirty butt sex with gentlemen

in VR bars. That is not one of my

pastimes.

That is not one of my pastimes. That is

now it sounds delightful. It sounds

delightful.

It sounds delightful. Wow. I wish I

could do something like that. But no,

not for me. Not for me.

[screaming]

Don't kill me. Don't kill me. Please.

Don't kill me.

No [ __ ] way.

Oh,

>> is that you?

>> No. Are you okay?

>> Behind me. I died.

>> I thought I was so confused.

>> What the dingle?

Hey,

you're lucky my friend doesn't know what

they're doing.

>> This game.

>> You're not going to have the same luck

with me.

>> Oh, he has your dog tag as his favorite

item. Has

>> Oh my god.

seven times.

>> Don't worry, Giggi. I'll wrap this push.

Okay.

Well,

that's okay. Hey, another great raid.

Another great raid.

Oh, to your left. I got you. I got you,

Coach. I got you.

>> Oh, nice.

Nice. [screaming]

Okay. You are such a

peanut. Peanut. Peanut. Peanut. You get

your [ __ ] door arms and legs looking

ass back here.

>> I got I got you. I got you. I'm just

kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just

kidding. He's W. [laughter] He's going

to W. He's going. Predictable.

>> I got res.

[ __ ] you.

>> [screaming and groaning]

>> All right, you can drive.

>> Okay. [laughter]

How do you get out?

>> Oh, officer, how do you get out?

Officer, how do you get out? [laughter]

Officer, seriously, dude, how do you get

out? Officer, how do you get out?

That's what Corick said. Confessed my

feelings to my best friend of two years

and it might cost the friendship. How

would a peanut handle this?

Play mega bunk.

Play mega bunk.

Play mega bunk. I don't know how I'm

playing a mega bunk right now. I don't

know about all that. Good luck, though.

Hold.

What? [screaming]

Oh my god. Officer, let me tell you,

Gandhi and that turtle [ __ ] from

Kung Fu Panda don't have half the

patience these gentlemen have. Oh my

god. Oh my god. I got a shot collar on

my goldfish, Hassan.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. As soon as it

moved, stop it.

>> Are you in here? [screaming]

>> Oh my [ __ ] god, dude. You got to,

dude.

>> Was this Halo?

>> Oh my god. Oh my god.

>> Jesus Christ.

>> Yeah, but I left perfect timing.

>> Jeez, I'm not even alive.

You an iPad kid? No, I was an iPad kid.

I I did I did what every other kid do

did when he was young. I did every, you

know, play with the old pig bladder,

couple tosses in the front yard.

You know what I'm talking about? You

know what I'm talking about? A little

light a bag of dog poop on fire, sit it

on your neighbor's house.

You know what I'm talking about? Grab a

roll of toilet paper, ruin some single

father of three's day off that he gets

only once a month by rolling his house.

The usual stuff. We're We're going to

try X7 SP or X7 X7 or X X. What was it

again?

>> Are you having a stroke?

>> I'm [screaming] thinking. Can the fella

think?

Jesus Christ. Do you see that man? It's

big as a mountain.

Oh my god,

[screaming]

dude. What? What? What the [ __ ]

>> Oh my god. Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh my [screaming] god.

>> [groaning]

[screaming]

>> Oh [screaming] my god.

>> What [screaming] the hell was that? By

the way, did you use that thing I saw

earlier?

Oh, thank you.

>> Unload every bullet in your magazine in

a digi,

>> dude. [ __ ] dude. Oh my god, dude. I'm

[laughter]

at sir. Following, sir.

>> I was psyching, officer. I was psyching.

>> I'm tell you, dude. They should have

never invented vaping. It's too good.

It's actually It's actually too [ __ ]

[laughter] good. It's evil. It's evil.

That's why I can't do it at all. I can't

do it at all.

>> You know, it's even better than vaping.

>> What?

>> Your mom's,

>> dude.

[laughter] What?

What?

>> What if you let me open Mark?

>> Oh, no.

No.

>> There be a knife in Mark.

>> You shall not [screaming] pet. Oh, wait.

That's a good idea. That Wait, hold up.

Wait a second. This is a good idea.

Take a little peep. Hey

hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey

hey hey hey hey.

To the victor goes the spoiled.

You drop that be blue key card right

now.

>> Oh it's my man. This

>> we leave it in the room till the battle

is [screaming] done. To the victor goes

the spoils.

>> I I believe there's an issue.

>> What? Oh. Oh, yeah.

>> Um

>> Oh, yeah. Huh?

>> Well, um

>> what do we do now?

>> Um we just go back to fighting.

Wait. All right. You go down that way.

Oh,

you get back here.

Hey, you can give me that.

>> We know what you're up to. You're not

going to fool us.

>> [groaning]

>> I'm trying to get

on.

That's what you sound like. I like to

wear blue jeans with a shirt on it with

a wolf howling at the moon, but it's

like a man wolf. And the wolf is also

wearing blue jeans. I like to stand in

front of a J C Penney and mean mug all

the single mobs

I'm talking about.

>> What are you saying?

>> It's new tech. Have you never heard of

that? I look like a sigma when I'm out

there. All the sigma go, oo,

>> oh my gosh,

>> that shirt with the man wolf on it

wearing blue jeans but no shirt and and

he's ripped. He's got a six-pack. Are

you a segment? I go, of course I'm a

Sigma.

when I do.

>> Yes. [screaming]

[ __ ] my hat. Holy [ __ ]

Is that not the end?

Who has better aim than Peanut? I don't

know. A blind alka member.

Shoot the tank.

>> I'm out of ammo.

>> Let's get up.

>> I got an idea. I got an idea. I've got

this. Stand back. Stand [screaming]

back.

Oh,

you missed the Bitcoin. Someone clip the

Bitcoin. Oh, did I miss a bit? Oh, did I

miss a Bitcoin? Oh, no. Did I miss a

Bitcoin? I miss my old Mr. Bitcoin. Bet

you miss your dad. Where's he at? Huh?

Where's he been?

Bet you miss your dad. Where's he at?

Huh? Where's he at? There was no

Bitcoin, jackass.

>> Um, someone came inside.

>> That's what she said. That's what she

said during sex. Where's he at?

>> Did he go over here?

>> She's running down.

>> She's just over here, though. Woo!

>> Go to

>> stupid [ __ ]

[groaning]

>> Why is the couch already as wet as a

Waffle House menu? I've never been to

Waffle House. I don't like getting shot.

But I will say the menus over at IHOP

are for some [ __ ] reason either

drenched in water or stuck together with

3 and 1/2 gallons of syrup. I want to go

there for a lovely time in a reasonably

priced meal. Maybe watch two bums fight

each other, but other than that, it's

honestly ridiculous that you have to go

in there and and do such conditions. Am

I right? Am I right? Are you here?

Oh god. Oh my god.

Oh my god.

>> What?

>> Dude, the stamina is so [ __ ] [ __ ] Oh

my god. It's on my left. It's on. Oh my

god. Oh my god.

>> Bro, it's a dead end. It's a dead end.

>> Oh [ __ ] Kill him. Kill him. Please.

>> Currently watching you on a plane with

no headphones. Please don't say anything

bad.

Let me get my kit together real quick.

I think I need a gun [screaming]

and a couple bombs.

I think I need a RJ. I think I need more

bombs. I think I need more bombs

for this next raid here. We're going to

need honestly I'm going to need a lot of

bombs. Lot a ton. So many bombs. I have

on me in my vest here. Tons of bombs on

my vest for the next raid. Let's see

here. Let's see. Got my gun and my

bombs. Now I need a little bit maybe a

helmet or something. Maybe some a

headset. Here we go.

Here we go. Now we should be ready for

the next raid here.

All right, buddy. Come on out. It's time

to stop whacking your meat. We've been

watching you for 5 minutes. This is a

bunch of [ __ ]

>> Yeah.

>> Come on out tent.

>> Come on out. It's time to stop yanking

your tape.

>> He's on this [ __ ] body. Peanut. Let's

[ __ ] with him. [laughter] He's right

here. He's right here. The hell?

>> Hey, how you doing?

>> [laughter]

>> Get [ __ ] on.

9K viewers, 400 responses. That's cuz

I'm botting. No. A quarter. That's cuz

I'm botting. Those are view bots. Only

400 of them are real. Um.

Uh. Where the [ __ ] is the poll? No,

there's no glitches. Everybody that's

here can see the poll. Don't even You're

speaking heresy. You're speaking heresy.

Are you suggesting that a lot of people

can't see the poll and it's glitched and

that's why there's not that many votes?

Meer. Meer. It's Viewbots. It's

Viewbots. It's Viewbot. I'm botting. I'm

viewing. That's why there's not a lot of

votes in the poll. Not whatever that

other crazy guy said. Um, what poll? No,

you can see the poll. He's lying. He's

lying. He's trying to Are you accusing

me of not viewing? It's viewbot. That's

why the poll is not that many votes.

It's viewing. It's viewing. Uh, the

heresy. Heresy.

I can't see the poll. Liar. [screaming]

Liar. Liar. I'm viewing. That's why the

poll votes are low. Not cuz you can't

see it. Not cuz Twitch polls are

notoriously broken and 90% of people

can't see it. It's cuz I'm viewing.

Liar. Liar. All right. Here's the plan,

boys. Here's the plan. Listen closely.

Listen closely. We sit right here and we

wait for an unsuspecting victim to open

that door right there. Then as we hear

the [snorts]

of the key turning.

That's when we strike.

Do you will you guys cover me if I go

pee? Can you guys handle this while I go

pee real quick?

>> A few minutes later.

>> He knows you're there.

Nah,

no, he doesn't. He walked into the room.

Did he see us? He saw you.

I feel like if he saw us, we'd be dead

by now.

>> Are you

[crying and groaning]

fell for it?

Hooray.

Reload.

>> I have 51 hours.

>> Hey, you're on labs.

My friends told me to rat.

>> No,

no, we're dead.

Uh, okay.

>> Are you a VTuber or something?

All

right, buddy. Why don't you say that one

more time? Say it again.

>> What happens if I

>> say it again?

Tell me that one more time.

>> Are you a VTuber?

>> What? What happened?

>> That's [screaming] it.

Make peace with your dad, [ __ ]

cuz you're taking a fight [screaming]

now.

Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. We're not

using a Oh,

we're not using the AK50 again. We're

not That weapon is horrible. That is the

worst weapon in the game.

Oh my god. Oh,

are we being so [ __ ] Are we being so

[ __ ] for real? Are we being so Are we

being actually Are we being super duper

for real right now? What the hell is

that?

Oh, did a clue?

Oh my god. Oh, what is Oh, what is Oh,

another great raid. Another great raid.

What a treat. Oh, yippee. [screaming]

Yippee.

>> Here we go. I got my socks on. I'm

ready.

>> Condulations, dude. Nice abs, dude.

>> Hey,

>> crunching.

>> Crunching on these nuts. That's all I

do.

>> All right, bust. All right, pal. We got

the liberals back.

My wife asked, "How do you play games

with no arms?" Massive [ __ ]

>> Wasn't that something that you got

picked on in high school for? The

fattest [ __ ] of our time. Yeah. They

always made fun of me. They called me

names like horsecock and tripod and

massive [ __ ] guy and guy with massive

[ __ ] and massive [ __ ] possessor and guy

with and and giant [ __ ] guy. He would

always make fun of me in the schoolyard.

Mr. Silly. You may have got me the first

time, [laughter]

but I will find you, Mr. Silly, in due

time. In due time.

There is no escape for you, Mr. Silly.

There is no second chance.

Holy

[ __ ]

Holy [ __ ]

Oh, you're a scab.

Oh, by the goodness. [laughter]

I'm also a scav. You spooked me. Oh, by

the gods. My apologies. I did not mean

to shoot at you. I apologize. I am also

a scab. I'm also a scav.

I just killed this PMC here. That's why

I got this cool That's where I got this

cool gun from

it. There's no reason to be alarmed. I

am also a scav. There's no reason to be

alarmed.

[screaming] No.

[screaming] Too easy. Too easy. Give the

bug leader a teller faps.

[screaming]

Jesus Christ.

Mr. Silly,

where are you?

Ah, quiet now, are you? That's what I

thought. That's what I thought, pal.

Almost got her. Oh, guys.

>> Got your little boyfriend. [laughter]

What? [screaming]

What?

What a burger. Just forgot my jalapeno

ranch. I'm pissed. Yeah, that is the

curse of the walab bungus. Listen,

they've got the Buffalo Ranch chicken

chip burger with the jalapeno ranch,

lodge fries, three spicy ketchups, and a

lodge coke. But unfortunately, every

single person that works in a water

burger, at least in my area, is a

[ __ ] stupid person. Actually, the

dumbest [ __ ] on this entire

planet, I'm actually sick of it. I'm

actually sick of it. And I'm not making

fun of like fast food workers in

general. I genuinely mean the fellas at

Waterburger, you give them a square peg,

they'll put it through the circle hole.

They they could not tie their shoes

without divine intervention. God would

have to come down and give them

instructions on how to tie their laces.

Swear to God. Swear to God. So, whenever

you get a Buffalo Ranch chicken burger

or any meal from Waterburg for that

matter, you want to double check, triple

check, quadruple check. What I do is I

pass to the drive-thru. I say it in the

drive-thru. Then I go to the window. I

save it in the I say it in the window

before they give it to me. Then I check

the bag after they give it to me. And I

then if they don't have it, I ask again.

Three times. Three time. Check. It's

unfortunate, but what you have to do.

Put

>> your helmet back on.

>> Oh, got it. Got it.

>> I heard someone on the wood out here.

>> Um,

something's happening with me.

>> Oh,

take too good.

>> Peanut, take your helmet off.

>> I don't feel too good.

>> Peanut, take your helmet off. I have

infinite power. [screaming]

>> I have infinite power.

>> Take your helmet off.

>> I [screaming] have the power of the

gods.

>> That's it.

>> It's your helmet.

>> Wizard helmet.

>> Here. Try it. Wait. Wait. Here.

>> Wizard helmet. Wizard helmet.

>> Put on.

>> Peanut. Don't touch officer when he's

sleeping. It's my house. I'll do

whatever I want.

>> Yep. That's fair. I can't argue with

that logic.

>> That's right. That's right. You want If

you don't want to get in touch, Mr.

Officer, go to another house. Go stay in

a hotel. Go. [laughter]

>> Those are the rules. Those are the

rules. I don't make the rules. I just

fart.

>> That's right. That's right.

>> You wake up at 2:30 in the morning, be

sucking on your big fat toe,

>> lay a little mayonnaise on the curve of

your foot. How do you like that, big

man?

>> Good heavens. I have three pickles

strapped to my waist like a firearm.

Ready for action at any moment.

[laughter]

Mr. Peanut, good sir. I'm getting

married tomorrow. Any advice before I

tie the knot? I would say the day before

your wedding, have a bachelor party

where you go to a strip club and gaze at

tons of naked [ __ ] women. That'll make

your wife feel more appreciated cuz

you're letting her know you're never

going to do it again. You know what I'm

talking about? So, what you want to do

the day before your wedding, you want to

do a thing called a bachelor party where

you throw money and dollars at [ __ ]

[ __ ] naked women. That way, you can

show your wife how much you're going to

appreciate her during the marriage cuz

you're never going to do that again. You

know what I'm talking about.

>> Uh, you're my dog. I need some zoop.

I'm about to say something very brave.

Okay. I don't care if it gets me banned.

Okay. I'm I'm about to say something

very brave. Okay.

Guys, I think if I can be honest, guys,

literally I think racism is bad. So,

like, guys, I know guys, I know, guys, I

expect an award for that. But that's You

don't have to give it to me today. You

can give it to me tomorrow or something.

I want it to be giant. I want to be a

gold cup with my name on the bottom. I

want to be my name on the bottom there.

And I want it to be a gold I want to be

at least a foot tall foot tall gold cup

like there. like up there like that and

then my name on the bottom right there.

Okay. For my bravery if you guys don't

mind. I'd like I'd like a big big

actually and a plaque. I'd like a plaque

that said, "Wow, Peanut is so brave. He

just speaks his mind and he and he

stands up for others." I think I want

that to what the plaque says. And then

and then the trophy I kind of wanted to

say say, "Wow, Peanut. Uh best guy ever.

Best bravest guy ever.