We're Having A Baby!

this is my fiance Katie

while marriage is our next step our

biggest test is when we start a family

but are we ready

let's find out now behind this very door

there is a baby

a live real baby

it was the closest one to the exit sign

now there's no better way to determine

the gender like a cream filling

repeating the actions that got us here

in the first place so we are having

ourselves a gender reveal party yeah

let's go and you got some Boston cream

donuts

imagine they were cake Donuts that'd be

quite the bad Omen right inside if it's

blue that means it's a boy

if it's pink that means it's a

a girl a girl yeah and we have this one

just in case they're not they're not

quite ready to

know which team they're on you know what

I mean if I had a garage be way too

protective same imagine her dating a

fake Nanny I'd be like

is that the girl

oh

let's go get our baby let's go

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look at her guys she looks exactly like

you

she's not working any clothes did you

get into the tequila again baby tiny can

I pick her up yeah

I don't like that be careful

what do you mean not like that I know

more

Daddy

I don't I want to think I like it yeah

it's just to earn it your affection

isn't something she urge don't pet her

like a dog

our babysitters are right off

throughout the day this thing is going

to start crying a lot now we have this

key here which is going to stop her from

crying there's feed there is panic there

is a tension diaper change and burp I

think I need burp and I feel like I need

feed we call that the Boston heimlich

where Tim Hortons and I started choking

a donut Katie comes in we gotta name

this thing though okay yeah do I have to

pick a name no we're gonna do with the

old-fashioned way

you know if the baby's really mine once

it latches on it's not coming off

turn those D's into A's

I don't have these we're gonna ask the

baby genie for a name okay and if we

don't like the name can I read yeah no

please no but if it's if we are if we

have a boy the fans want to Ben Tennyson

just so you know they want to bend yeah

Ben 10 you know I don't like Ben I like

Ben 10 yeah

ouch you just gave her a concussion

three two one make a wish

Sylvia

is she like a 70 year old receptionist

at the dentist ah there might be a

Sylvia watch I'm sorry Sylvia but that's

not the name of a baby one more time one

more time I just gave birth

please okay when you okay first of all

when you're pregnant you basically have

nine months of two days and I'm gonna be

there with you to do it to show some

support but like come on please just

just

even the genie says it will grow on you

will yeah yeah yeah yeah that's whatever

the girl wants right whatever you want

let's go Leah stop petting her like that

did you tell anyone we're engaged that's

why we had a baby it's not out of

wedlock

this is family

what's her name again

you can see right up her nostrils just

like Daddy

I don't know if I'm ready to be called

Daddy but I know it's older than you

so I think what we're gonna do is we're

gonna start off with some words like

anabolic

um high volume caffeine if glycogen is

not your first word I've failed as a

role model and a father

oh

here Daddy

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what do you do

it's not it's not in my arms no yes it

is no

after getting acquainted with the new

member of the family it was time to take

baby Leah out to see the real world

it only makes sense right Katie yeah for

you

for me okay you are such a princess

don't even

I'm not guys I'm not if this should say

little Mrs Olympia if I could get a

custom sticker that'd be pretty sweet

I'm one of those I'm proud I'm a proud

parent is what it is do you have a car

seat

shut up

all right Leah this is Tim Hortons where

daddy is more or less a legend

yeah

see ah

this is my home Tim Hortons too so this

is embarrassing I feel like we should

probably go get her closer for this

because she's like little mini wimpoff

she's naked right now you know poor

little thing she's she's been inspired

by Cult exposure yeah all right let's go

I'm giving her her first donut today

yeah not a cake donut though we can't do

that yeah no problem because if she

likes it it's not mine yeah

oh my gosh I'm actually I actually want

a kid now like this she's like it's so

cute it's holding my hand with one

finger oh yeah this is what we don't

like okay this is a chocolate glazed

donut smell that we don't eat these

never

oh

usually that's a domino effect that's

usually a domino effect

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she's so good she won't cry she's not

gonna cry good girl

oh she is crying oh yeah that's her

do you want a fan heart do you want to

figure it out maybe she's caffeine

withdrawal is that what it is no I think

she wants the the cake donut no she just

had the cake donut is that why she's

crying no I think she wants more no she

does not Walmart the Boston cream

it only gets worse

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oh my God

I'm gonna get myself a vasectomy after

this video

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what did you do oh my God I'm sorry I'm

sorry man is it crane yeah oh boy

yeah

I hope it's real oh it is

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there it is

that's gave me like three gray hairs oh

my God

yeah look at daddy drinks black coffee

we don't drink our calories okay do you

want to have the cake donut

I wonder if Walden Farms is baby formula

you're joking

Walden Farms baby formula putting

chemicals into your child gonna be

shredded low-key I just showed off there

to Leah like I probably look at the

coolest dad I walked in to add the two

employees she's like that's my hero

that's what I was thinking yeah I know

yeah one bite daddy one bite

she wants one

it's crying it's like non-stop now

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we're at Walmart right now about to get

the baby some drip I would put her in a

Gucci tracksuit but she has to earn it

okay no our payee is not ever gonna be

in a group she doesn't she doesn't have

to earn it like I did what I want to put

her in like a costume that'd be so cute

oh a little costumes like a bear costume

yeah or a donut

then I want to eat her and I'd be child

we need to find something that's bold

and confident with Room to Grow because

there's no gains faster than baby games

like baby games are faster than newbie

games leave her alone maybe she wants to

be like a gymnast or something

oh here

oh my God

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no that's such a generic thing I don't

really be like everyone else man we

should put her in a Gucci tracksuit

I mean I do like grapefruits is that a

grapefruit

Little Jeans soon you're not gonna be

able to fit in them just like Daddy

they're quadrantly so big yeah not her

cast that's for sure

this is perfect man baby clothes are

lame as F like the material that they've

left over from like really like ugly

home like curtains they just like this

is gorgeous what do you mean it's like

Hagrid hand-me-downs

okay

thanks Dad

we're getting better at this yeah

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everybody go check it out now let's go

check on what Katie's doing

what's up

we found our outfit oh I actually like

this I like the two piece and you love

your headband oh I do you know what

babies with a headband they get them man

that gets me like that's a thing you see

the matching that's cute isn't that man

I want a baby so bad right now no what

no

no

they're pretty easy yeah this is what's

all this fuss about your parents out

there with us what's this fuss about

come on

it's like she's not even real she's like

that well behaved jinxed cauliflower

Kitty pardon she needs high volume

oh my God leave her alone what yeah

organic pear black bean chicken excuse

me [ __ ] herself if it's my daughter

she's in love with that for sure that's

actually I think I need one of those you

there's two you eat a taco you put a

taco you like it drops and you have a

taco salad after you're done or a tough

guy she's not a guy you don't know that

yes

a little

with a little octopi

someone is

you suck on keep me out of trouble

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just suck on oh

that's for Leah now I passed oh you're

not

online is said for parents it's the

hardest to take their newborns to a fine

dining restaurant so we're going to a

fine dining restaurant right now and um

hopefully we don't be causing havoc in

there slash little Leah causing Havoc

right

you're too cute they won't kick you out

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I'm trying okay I feel like our chances

getting kicked out are extremely high

right now oh yeah we're making a time

this is very fancy and for this time of

day it's actually quite busy too so

hopefully there's a quiet side

yeah good luck now you know what sleep

means

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I have never been so uncomfortable in my

life everybody's staring at us right now

oh my God I'm this is very fancy this

thing can not cry investing

she wants better no she does not want to

know okay she's a growing girl my mom

never let me have butter

I'm washing butter is bad but it's just

one of those things with extra calories

but now I don't have it but we give bad

habits to her

she could get big so we want to be

healthy with her off the bat no Katie

maybe I should have got my steak rare

like peace and quiet an hour

yeah I'm talking to you

so cute oh my God she's loving my video

though yeah

oh he's right out she saw a beast right

at it

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I'm so uncomfortable

what do I watch

yo when we actually have a kid content

is just gonna be like

Swap and diets I tripled my baby's diet

I quadruple my baby's diet at five times

my baby's diet I try my baby's bulking

diet yeah what

it's not bulking

we have different views here I don't

even know

I don't even know who I am anymore yeah

that's supposed to scare me

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she just wants some warm milk

your eyes don't move because I could

have sworn I thought I saw her voice oh

they moved she's watching you right now

so it actually LinkedIn yeah okay she

has a good feeling about you

yeah okay I think you're the Godfather

you know

it doesn't have to order chloroform

she's being perfect to be nice

quarter what

do you say what say bye bye bye that

actually blew my mind they're actually

great I thought they were gonna pick us

out in a second oh yeah they really like

Leah Leah was literally the star of the

show in there sweet little thing how

could she not be that's why I'm covering

her up

so we're at Grandma's house how does it

feel if you call Grandma oh I don't know

I think pretty good she's you'd be the

worst grandma

the worst because you're not like over

feeding and stuff you're more of a hard

ass because grandmas are generally like

softies what we're going to be doing is

seeing who is the better parent Katie

and I head to head in two challenges the

first one is a diaper changing contest

Rock Paper Scissors Shoot yeah

who's my first yeah me okay

one go

oh my god oh

well oh she had Chipotle oh

you are bad she just like shot her body

weight oh my all right guys

oh oh I think I just put into the other

crack she's like

Anna McNulty here okay guys you guys are

making me feel like very yeah

why are you hanging her upside down are

you okay Leah

wouldn't it

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time

that's probably the most athletic thing

I've ever done yeah oh my God my

adrenaline not gonna lie that was a

little trickier than I was expecting the

adult ones don't take that much finesse

Will's technique was crazy he had her

upside down first of all and then he was

eating her poo finliness what do you

guys think okay well

oh oh they're so poopy there's a little

bit of skid marks in there yeah yeah

what is this

and it's all about on the outside too

that's like I don't I don't get it all

the first time no no do you know what

when you have a baby you have to clean

like in their little fools and you see

all that that's not nice that was like a

freaking great dane [ __ ] I think I just

give her a fungal infection there right

yeah

I don't really know how to rate that out

of five out of five I'm gonna say about

maybe two and a half you're getting

harsh with her too like

oh oh my God William that was so sorry

are you like Ash Ketchum here like

Pokemon doing her hair up here well I

don't want to get poop in my hair three

two one go

oh what have you been feeding this baby

you guys protein bars butter oh oh look

at this baby's leg just so I'm calling

her out right now what she moves like

that oh yeah is she from The Exorcism

stop you had it on her damn hand you

were at uh 34 seconds oh

you're done okay

yeah okay I'm just gonna make sure this

is really clean yeah

okay

one minute 24 seconds

after the inspection let's have the

inspections I mean there's a little stop

there's yeah there's I could see it

everywhere yeah

I think she looks very clean very [ __ ]

and span I say like you know like

probably four and a half

wow sure Challenge number two we're

gonna see you can calm Leah down the

fastest when she starts crying

no no don't do that no no it's not nice

to start crying

okay I can't put this in

oh 44.

oh

what do you what does that mean what did

you give her that she thought she wanted

she needed to get burped I think 48 41.

48 41. all right I got this

come with you you can't be talked nicer

totally I don't slap her tough love

that's what you taught me very funny so

I got top two when I was a kid oh shut

up yeah stop crying right yeah that's

true that's true

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you can panic because daddy is crazy

yes and she knows it's a whole lifetime

ahead of her

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oh

hello

19 seconds what does she need she needed

some food all right Leah I'm gonna go

get some milk okay I'll be back

oh

we know what that means

it's never coming back

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